1. This isn't the end (seriously)

So, depending on who broke up with who and how, this may vary, but to everyone, I am sorry. Breaking up with someone or being broke up with can really damage one's self-esteem and isn't a fun experience for either party involved. For me, it was over a text and I was told it was a break for the both of us... basically a softer version of a "we need to break up." Being together, in love, with someone for almost two years is pretty serious and that can become scary for some people, which is totally normal. Relationships are tricky and are never going to be perfect -- mine was one of those. Just know that life will continue on and you too, will move on. "Living" isn't about focusing on another person, it's about focusing on yourself and the memory you will leave behind when you depart from this life. I know I can feel alone now, without my best friend by my side anymore, but when I get like that I put on some fun music and twirl around and imagine a happy future, whether it is with Ryan Gosling or all by myself! Have fun with yourself. Become your best self first, not someone's best friend. It is important to keep in mind that life does move on, but we all need time to to reflect and sit with these heavy emotions. So, whether you are going through a breakup, or a friend is, remind yourself (and them) that they will need time to heal and that it's normal. Just remember that, as Ellie from 'Up' says, "Adventure is out there!" Life has so much more in store for you than just romance. There is adventure, friendship, challenge, independence, and happiness all waiting for you in the future (this sounds a lot like something one would read in a fortune cookie, oops).

2. This doesn't determine your personality

After a breakup, the first thing you usually do is spend too much time micro-analyzing your relationship's past and yourself. What happened? Was it me? Where did I go wrong? But instead, you should be asking yourself: where do I go from here? A breakup happens when both parties stop working well together. And that is okay! Not every couple will be golden! You are who you are, and if your significant other cannot continue to support and cherish you, then it is time to move on to someone who will. Just know that you are a human being and, just like any body else, you have your quirks. Whatever you do, don't try to change yourself for them. That was my first response when I got that heartbreaking text. I wanted to do whatever it would take to make him stay, but then I wouldn't be myself and at that point it wouldn't be worth it. Whenever I feel down on myself I listen to (and you should too) Bob Dylan's 'Don't Think Twice It's Alright,' and the phrase:

"I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right,"

And Bob is right! Don't let anyone waste your time anymore, it's done and over with now. Being in love isn't about changing yourself to fit into their perfect square. It's all about finding someone who admires those quirks and can respect them. Just think of all the people you will meet in your years to come! Think of all the possible personalities that will mix with yours. The world is an endless personality machine and yours is just one of the many beautiful results. Continue on, move forward, and put your best self first!

3. Leonardo DiCaprio is single

Ah.....the most wonderful man. Leo. I know we all gushed about him in his MANY films. Young Leo and Old Leo are both such dashingly handsome and charming characters and ya know what? HE'S SINGLE. Okay, sure he was married and did have many relationships, but currently he is single. Even a man as adorable and wonderful as him can't have a perfect relationship (yet). So, just tell yourself it may take a few Kelly Rohrbach's before you find the right one.

4. Feelings are confusing, and that's OK!

So you're probably feeling A LOT of different emotions. For me, I went through waves of various feelings. One minute, I would be excited and empowered ready to move on, find a new lover, and explore the world once again as a single woman! Then, two minutes later, after watching a couple hold hands while walking to class, I would crash and panic about the loss of my best friend. I begin to miss the romance we shared, and even the sexual parts of our relationship. Speaking honestly, I miss the sex a lot more than I thought I would. It took me forever to become comfortable with my naked body and he was so kind about it, so it was even harder to try and move on. I would also have moments of complete anger. I would be mad at myself, him, our families, at the environment that surrounded our relationship, basically anything that I could put blame onto. And then, I would feel really low. I never understood how to feel, and how I should be feeling. No one ever told me how to handle a break up as ugly as this one, but I realized recently that I'm just supposed to feel whatever comes to me. I've learned to accept how I am feeling. Instead of analyzing why I felt this way, I would learn from that emotional state. It sounds confusing I bet, but it has been really helpful for me. I already deal with my anxiety disorder, panic and manic depression, and going through a breakup made everything SO much worse, but I learned to fight through the dark feelings, and how to learn from them. Emotions are crazy and so are breakups, but both of those will never be as messed up as the Trump presidency!

5. It's time to move on: the hardest part

Yeah. I know. Something that you never want to do is to move on, but sooner or later, it's going to happen. I'm having the hardest time trying to move on because it is especially difficult when you are on a "break" you don't know the end date or even if the relationship will continue. Luckily, I realized that my ex-boyfriend wasn't the best for me. Something changed in him and I see now that we would have never worked well together. The love is gone, but it won't be forgotten. On the other hand, the relationship is gone and over with. It's really upsetting, I won't deny that, but that's what this is. I know it will take time, but I hope you find proper and satisfying closure even if it takes some time (I'm on month two, and am still working on moving forward). So, dear reader, muster up all of your strength, courage, and confidence and leep (Clarkie pun) foward into the big sea! Swim with the dolphins, try some coral, and save the sea turtles! Do not fear the unknown! Surround yourself with friends and family to help guide you! You got this! And one more thing, don't forget about sweet self-care (my next article will be some kick butt ways to have a fabulous self-care-Sunday)! ___________________________________________________________________

Best Wishes,

Momma Lu