Losing Long-Term Friendships & Dealing With It

I Finally Learned To Cope With Losing Friendships That I Thought Would Be Long-Term

After high school, it's easy to lose contact with people you care about, and it took me a while to get used to this.

Jaya Bhardwaj

I am the kind of person who likes to have a small, caring, supportive, and trustworthy group of friends. I consider myself to be lucky because I have wonderful and thoughtful people in my life. I know that they care about me and always have my best interest at heart. Most of my friends have been in my life for multiple years. Solid consistency seems to be a common theme in my friendships. I rarely get into fights with my friends as well. Once someone has been around for a while, I have a hard time imagining them being gone from my life. I am a compassionate person, and I care deeply for each of my friends. I would do anything for them at any time. Unfortunately, over the last couple of years, I've learned how that can backfire on me.

When I started my first year of college, I still had two very close friends back in high school. I'm not far from home, so I would do what I could to both see and stay in contact with them. I paid a couple visits to my old school, set up lunches and dinners, or other get-togethers. We did manage to stay in contact, which made me happy since they were two people that meant a lot to me. The keyword here is "were."

Over the summer they both randomly stopped talking to me. I reached out multiple times and even asked if I had done something wrong and if we could talk about it. I got nothing but radio silence. I was hurt and confused. These were people who had been my friends for over three years. Not only were they always there for me, but I would also do whatever I could to help them regardless of what was going on. It was frustrating and felt so unfair to me. I tried to reach out multiple times after the fact, but I soon faced the harsh reality that it really isn't that abnormal for people to abruptly exit our lives. It's completely natural for people to lose contact with each other or have a falling out. And, if like my situation, people leave for no apparent reason - it just proves that they don't deserve your friendship or care.

I went to the same school with the same people, for 13 years. Everything stayed at an identical pace for such a long time, and it wasn't until I transitioned into college that I was struck with many significant differences. Losing friends will never be easy. It'll always be at the back of your head, and will both bother and hurt you for a while. However, it's one of those bittersweet parts of life. This experience is still painful for me whenever I think about it, but it's also molded me into a stronger person. People will come and go, and even if it doesn't make sense, it's still a part of life. And when I am faced with a situation like this in the future, I will be able to deal with it more effectively.

I do not regret the friendships or time I spent with those two people, and I will always wish them both nothing but the best.

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