Guys are such tools.
This was a conversation that I had with a professor of mine. He looked around at all of the relationships that he sees on a college campus and just rolls his eyes. "Guys are such tools." I want to clarify before I jump into this that I consider myself as a pretty strong feminist, HOWEVER feminism has killed the dating world. Feminism says how dare you open the door for me, I am not helpless, I can do things for myself. Absolutely I can open a door for myself, BUT if a guy won't open a door for a girl to show that he respects her, what will he do? Robin Williams once said "Language was invented for one reason, boys--to woo women--and in that endeavor laziness will not do." Oh how right he is. Except if you have feminists telling guys not to put in effort on some things that have become associated with a male being a gentleman, why would guys put in effort? Where does the line fall between putting effort in to be a gentleman and putting any effort in at all? The dating world is tough. As a girl, I can say that a lot of the times it is difficult to know exactly where you stand with a guy. Guys don't call to say hey I just wanted to talk to you. The only times when a guys sends a message saying how he enjoyed his time with a girl is when he is after something else. Let's be real, guys know the things that girls want to hear, so they say those romantic things just in hopes of sex. No one is allowed to feel in a relationship because that is apparently outdated. If you have feelings too soon then you are moving too fast. If you are the person who isn't afraid to say how they feel then you are suffocating.The truth about dating now days is that whoever cares the least in the relationship is who has all of the power. How pathetic is that? People say that it is better to not feel and to keep a relationship where you want it rather than caring and having your heartbroken. Especially with dating now days, it is very easy to get your heart broken. There are girls trying to get through the dating world toward the white picket fence dream when the dating world is full of guys who have no business being in it
Guys nowadays seem to only be focused on what will make them seem cool and appealing. What I want to know is when did being cool become more important than being yourself? I don't want to date a guy who says all of the cheesy lines just to make me feel special even though he has probably used those exact same lines before. I don't want to be with the guy who looks at me and says 'well I'll see you around baby' and expects me to just melt at his words. Apparently as a female I am expected to swoon when guys do stupid things that make them seem arrogant because they feel that makes them desirable. A guy would much rather act like a jerk to look cool for his friends rather than act like a gentleman to a girl he has feelings for.
Newsflash guys: You are NOT too cool to be a gentleman. I don't care how much heat your boys give you for carrying your girls books. The last time I checked they weren't the ones that you were in a relationship with. The simple fact is that women deserve to be treated like princesses. If you spend all of your time ignoring her or trying to just act cool, you are going to lose her. Start treating women like ladies, not objects. Stop saying these terrible sayings that mean absolutely nothing to you just in hopes of getting a woman into bed. I don't care if a guy buys me dinner, holds the door open for me, smiles at me, and says all of the right things; I owe him nothing. Just because you are in a relationship with someone does not mean that you are entitled to anything. Guys, stop making girls feel like you are entitled to their body, and they are doing you a disservice by not putting out. Girls, stop settling for being with the guy that doesn't respect you.Guys stop saying things that you don't mean because as a woman it is impossible to know what to believe. Stop giving girls this smile and telling her she is pretty and just expecting her to give you everything in return. Actually get to know the person as a person. In the wise words of Christina Yang "Oh screw beautiful, I'm brilliant. If you want to appease me, compliment me on my brain." Guys, put in effort. Call first. Look at a girl and ask her on a date. Not hey let's go hang out or whatever, but let's go on a date. Put your phones away and actually embrace each others presence. Live. Love. And be okay with there being risks; that’s what makes life worth living.
The last part of this post is dedicated to all of you mothers out there who instilled in your little boys brain to treat all girls like a princes. Shout out to you fathers out there that were examples of how to treat a girl right. Shout out to all of you out there who raised gentlemen. I'm sure that it wasn't easy, but thank you for instilling in them the values of treating a woman with respect. Thank you for being there for their difficulties and for not allowing them to become bitter and give up on love. Thank you for raising honorable men that a girl like me would be honored to be with. Dating nowadays is tough, but it is because of mothers like you that it is a little easier. I can only hope that one day when I am a parent that I can raise respectful men in a world so full of boys just like you all have.
Disclaimer: This is a very generalizing post about men and I am very aware that not all guys are like this. I have several amazing guys in my life that I have no doubt would treat a girl with absolutely nothing with respect. This is just a post for all of the guys out there that don't.
