A few weeks ago, I was sitting happily in a St. Louis Breadco with my perfect grilled cheese and my crossword puzzle. I had a few hours before I had to be at the theatre for a performance. It didn’t make sense to drive the 35-45 minutes home, so I figured on staying at the Breadco and getting some work or reading done.

Free WiFi is a beautiful thing...and so is bread. What a perfect way to spend my afternoon!

At least, it would have been.

This older woman was sitting at a table near mine. She had said something briefly in passing about liking my pigtails. I said thank you and I thought that was the end of our encounter.

A while later, she turned to me and said something like, “You know...as a Christian, it’s my job to spread the word of God. Have you been introduced to Jesus? Do you know him and love him?”

Slightly uncomfortable though this question was, I was happy to tell her that, yes, yes I have.

I have no shame for my belief in God and because I know that a relationship with God is a personal one—it cannot be forced on anyone. Someone who has religion forced upon them by others is less likely to have genuine faith. It’s a PERSONAL relationship. At least, that’s how I’ve come to view my faith.

Anyway, this woman was very pleased to hear that I’m already a Christian. But she didn’t stop talking there. Rather than dive into a discussion about how I need to find God and how I’ll go to hell if I don’t, etc, she instead decided to change the subject slightly and speak to me about a private family matter.

Obviously, because I claim to be a fellow Christian, that must mean that I believe and agree with a bigoted man-made doctrine that has nothing to do with the Word of God. (I’m speaking of Homophobia).

“I have two beautiful granddaughters,” she said to me, “And I wish they could both be good Christian girls like you. They’re both very beautiful and sweet and kind...but,” and she hesitated, shaking her head with what was clearly shame. “One of them...well she’s gotten herself into this ‘relationship’ with a...um. How do I say this? With a...” and she dropped her voice low, as though what she said next was going be so horrible, that she couldn’t stand the risk of someone overhearing, “with a lesbian. You know what I mean? One of those lesbians.”

Honestly, it took every bit of self-control I have to not scream or flip the table at which I sat. I wanted to see where she was going with this information; it sounded like she was about to ask for advice.

Nope.

It was not advice she wanted. Apparently, she was hoping that I, a fellow Christian, would validate her prejudice against her own granddaughter.

As she continued talking, I grew more and more furious.

Instantly, my mind flashed to my loved ones who have pursued same-sex relationships and it hurt me to think that a ridiculous woman like the one before me would have anything to say about how someone else lives their truth and their happiness.

If there was ever an appropriate time for me to be my rebellious self and speak up, it would be now.

I calmly told this woman, “I’m sorry for your granddaughter. But you should know, the Bible says nothing I mean nothing about homosexuals.”

“Yes, it does! My dear girl, you are wrong!”

“Show me,” I said, and I pulled out my iPad, opened my bible app and handed it to her.

“Well, I don’t know off hand.”

“Well, you should if you’re going to go around making claims like that. I’ve got time. Go ahead and show me.” I sighed and continued, praying to God that this woman would see reason...

“The passage that I think you’re referring to is not actually about sexuality. It’s about how human beings should not perform heinous acts of violence, like murder and rape, especially not to wandering travelers. When the Bible says ‘MAN’ it is often referring to the human race as a whole.”

“Young lady, you are wrong, you just are. Have you even read the bible?”

“Yes, ma’am I have. I was raised Catholic and take my faith very seriously.”

“Oh honey, you need to get yourself out of the Catholic Church. It is nothing but a CULT!”

“Excuse me?”

“Paul was not the first Pope!”

“Ma’am, you’re missing my point. I’m handing you my Bible. Show me where it says that you have the right to judge your granddaughter for loving someone just because you don’t like it.”

“I told you I don’t know the exact passages. If I could have your phone number, I would send them to you later.”

“Well, that’s not going to happen. If you have the time to stand here and talk to me, then you can point out to me where the Holy Book tells you that your behavior is acceptable.”

At this point, she’s getting extremely frustrated. As am I. She keeps walking away and coming back.

And walking away...

And coming back YET AGAIN. I pointed out that the apostles asked Christ which of the Ten Commandments was the “most important” one to follow. He responded with:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40

Her response completely floored me.

She was losing her completely fake “I’m-just-trying-to-help-you” attitude. She started shouting about how foolish the liberal Christians are for preaching “love love love love!” She went on to say “Sure let’s just let everyone sin and sin and sin and then let them all go to hell!”

As she storms away from me, she turns around for one last comment, and I the thought to say this (and man oh man am I glad I said it):

“You owe your granddaughter an apology. I’ll be praying for you. Goodbye.”

She mumbled something that really didn’t hold any ground, and she scurried off.

As for me, I sat there, completely disgusted. I was filled with the sudden urge to call one of my dearest friends and apologize to her for how horrible people can be. I felt the urge to call her and tell her that I need her to know that NOT ALL CHRISTIANS are so hateful and determined to guilt everyone they meet into becoming Christians too. That’s not how it works—at least that’s not how it should work.

I often get overwhelmed with how corrupted the church can be. I can’t stand the fact that so many religions are represented by those who misinterpret scripture and decide that their interpretation is the only one that matters. It’s complete arrogance to pretend to have all the answers. But I do know one thing...and it’s consistent with all of the major religions being practiced in modern society: loving one another is more important than anything else.

I don’t see how it has to be more complicated than that. Maybe I’m wrong about “all you need is love,” but I know I’m not wrong for standing up for that woman’s granddaughter. I hope her grandmother will learn to respect and accept her for exactly who she is. I hope that one fool who considers religion to be a thing of hatefulness and fear won’t turn her off to religion completely. I hope the same for everyone. Christians are not inherently evil. Catholicism is not a cult. Not all priest molest children. And loving someone means loving them. That’s it. If their choices are not causing harm to themselves or others, then support what makes them happy. Don’t walk up to strangers and seek validation for your bigotry. Maybe, instead, just try to stop being an ignorant bigot.