I Am A Blunt, Passive-Aggressive Girl And Yes, I Am A Contradiction

I Am A Blunt, Passive-Aggressive Girl And Yes, I Am A Contradiction

I can't do confrontation, but I can do sticking up for what I believe in.
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If you ask any of my close friends or family, they will tell you I am very honest, straightforward, and even sometimes blunt. I’ve always been a very extroverted girl, and I speak my mind.

Many Facebook arguments have spurted on my page due to me sharing a video on a controversial topic. I have opinions and I am not afraid to share them, but the funniest part of me is, I hate being confrontational. I hate causing people problems.

I often try and take the high road on situations where I could hurt a person’s feelings or inconvenience them. I have absolutely no idea why I feel this way. It is possibly the dumbest thing I do. I have no problem sticking up for controversial topics, but if someone butts in line in front of me, I will just let it stew inside of me and not say a word. I don’t want to make people feel awkward or as if they have done something wrong.

Most people in my life would describe me as a leader, which really makes this whole idea so hard to believe. I sit at night and wonder what on earth is wrong with me. I can be so passionate and boisterous, but if my roommate eats my mac n cheese on accident, I suddenly won’t say anything at all until she brings it up.

I guess the world is sort of weird like that. I have never had a problem telling people close to me, like family and my best friends, that, “Hey, I can’t believe you ate my pasta. You better make me another box, because I was craving that so bad.” My mom told me the other day that my articles are getting pretty opinionated, and she attributed that to me getting “comfortable” with my audience. And maybe, it is a good thing. Maybe, it isn’t.

I guess that is really a personal preference. Sometimes I will just get along with people who absolutely drive me insane. These people sometimes even like to think they are my friends. Does that make me a bad person? Personally, I say no. If being nice to a person and not making them feel uncomfortable is something I can do and handle, I guess it is a good skill of mine. I don’t see why being rude to people and shutting them down when they are just trying to be friendly should be your first choice.

So, maybe I should be more obvious with the little things in my life I want to be changed. Maybe I should say, “Hey, I was waiting in line, you can’t butt.” But maybe, being this weird contradiction is some higher power telling me to just let it go and keep rolling with the flow. Being kind and nice and making others feel comfortable should be something I am proud of, but I should probably look for a middle ground. I shouldn’t be losing out on being comfortable or getting what rightfully belongs to me. So, for now, I am a contradiction. In the future, hopefully, I will figure it all out.

Cover Image Credit: Mackenzie Boivin

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Open Letters to my Childhood Friend

"There's something about childhood friends that you just can't replace" ~ Lisa Whelchel
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As a young adult who has lived in New York City their entire life, I have come across countless people at various people in my lifetime. While some faces were part of a short time, some individuals were significant factors in different phases of my life. The individuals who have left a substantial impact on my memory were my childhood friends. These individuals were the first group that would push me to understand the meaning of friends.

Here is an open letter to my childhood best friend, who was a significant influence in my life.

Dear friend,

I remember the time we spent in a local Queens neighborhood. I remember the school years, the summers we ran through the park, the morning when we would play in the sprinklers, and the time we spent in each other’s homes. Those were times when we interacted and spent the most time together. These moments were some of the best memories I hold today of my childhood. I thank you for those memories.

I remember being the first to move out the neighborhood because my family dynamics changed. But a few months later found out you were leaving as well. You wouldn't just move neighborhoods as I did, but you moved across the country.

However, we got some time before you would leave. I no longer saw you at school. I would no longer spend the summer with you. Lastly, I wouldn't be friends with you anymore as the distance would make it difficult to keep in touch. We spent a few weekends and a few summer weeks before you left for the west coast.

I remember moments with you and the other kids. We would study and play together. Despite having other friends, we connected because we spoke the same language, ate the same foods, and even loved watching some of the similar shows. But, it didn’t matter because you weren’t there. Your mom and my grandmother stayed in touch for a little bit. But then my grandmother got sick and heard any news about you and your family became merely impossible.

However, I remember being on MySpace. Yes, I was a little kid on Myspace. Where I connected with you again, but time zones, school, and our lives still kept us from really talking. We acknowledge each other and even exchanged how we had changed over the years we were not in touch. With time and social media change, I connected with you on numerous platforms and eventually through text.

But at this point, it doesn't matter. You had new friends, so did I. We faced high school, college and grew up in two different parts of the country. We cannot change the fact that we are not the closest and we may never be a part of each other lives today. We weren’t who we were in the Queens Neighborhood in the early 2000's. We must merely adore the past and enjoy the memories we hold, as they play a part of our lives.

I see how far you have come and can say that I’m happy for you. I also wish you all the best for your future as it seems that you have everything at grasps and are heading for better.

I hope that we eventually have the opportunity to meet and connect as adults who have experienced life in such different manners and opposites side of the country. It would be interesting to see how our lives have changed since the last time we met.

Thanks for being a part of my childhood.

Your friend in NYC.

Cover Image Credit: google

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To Ole Miss's Incoming Class Of 2022

Make the most of your freshman year.
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To the future freshmen of Ole Miss,

First and foremost, congratulations on choosing the best college! I know you will love it as much as I do. At first, I was a bit skeptical of moving down south while knowing absolutely no one, but it turned out to be one of my best decisions. For those of you who are as nervous as I was, here are a few tips:)

1. Don't be afraid to make friends and go out of your comfort zone.

On my second day of classes, I went to up to this girl who I recognized from orientation. I knew she was a freshmen and also from St. Louis and I just wanted a friend to sit by. Flash forward 8 months later and we are best friends and currently have every single class together. I don't know if I would have been able to survive my freshmen year without her. Don't be afraid to go up to someone on the first day of class. Who knows they might become one of your best friends.

2. Get involved.

Make sure to go to the activity fair even if it sounds a bit lame. It is good to keep busy for the first few months to avoid getting bored or homesick. Also, you can meet a lot of cool people and join so many different organizations that are offered! Consider joining Rebelthon, it was one of my favorite events of freshmen year!

3. Consider rushing even if you do not want to.

I was super nervous about Greek life down in the South especially since I am from out of state. But, I am so happy I rushed and found a home at an amazing sorority. Some of the people I have met through my sorority have become some of my closest friends.

4. Complete the Freshman Bucket List.

Eat chicken on a stick, go in the tunnels, and if you aren't too afraid- sneak onto the football field.

5. Keep your dorm room clean.

Trust me you do not want a smelly dorm room or ants.

6. Take a lot of pictures.

Please capture your outfits for spring parties because in about 10 years you are going to ask yourself why on earth did you wear that. Also, snap a few pictures of the beautiful red tulips.

7. Tailgate in the Grove.

One of my favorite things about the fall semester was football games. Even if you don't know anyone who has a tent, plenty of families will welcome you into their tent. After tailgating, make sure to head to the stadium for Locking the Vaught (and maybe try to stay for at least 1 whole game).

8. Stay connected with your friends over Christmas Break.

Honestly leaving for Christmas break was one of the hardest things. I'm pretty sure my friends and I all cried because we didn't want to be apart for 6 weeks. Make sure to Facetime them a lot:)

9. Study hard.

College is a lot harder than high school. Study and stay on top of your homework. You do not want to get behind in a class.

10. Have fun and make memories.

There is nothing like freshman year, so make the most of it.


Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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