If you ask any of my close friends or family, they will tell you I am very honest, straightforward, and even sometimes blunt. I’ve always been a very extroverted girl, and I speak my mind.

Many Facebook arguments have spurted on my page due to me sharing a video on a controversial topic. I have opinions and I am not afraid to share them, but the funniest part of me is, I hate being confrontational. I hate causing people problems.

I often try and take the high road on situations where I could hurt a person’s feelings or inconvenience them. I have absolutely no idea why I feel this way. It is possibly the dumbest thing I do. I have no problem sticking up for controversial topics, but if someone butts in line in front of me, I will just let it stew inside of me and not say a word. I don’t want to make people feel awkward or as if they have done something wrong.

Most people in my life would describe me as a leader, which really makes this whole idea so hard to believe. I sit at night and wonder what on earth is wrong with me. I can be so passionate and boisterous, but if my roommate eats my mac n cheese on accident, I suddenly won’t say anything at all until she brings it up.

I guess the world is sort of weird like that. I have never had a problem telling people close to me, like family and my best friends, that, “Hey, I can’t believe you ate my pasta. You better make me another box, because I was craving that so bad.” My mom told me the other day that my articles are getting pretty opinionated, and she attributed that to me getting “comfortable” with my audience. And maybe, it is a good thing. Maybe, it isn’t.

I guess that is really a personal preference. Sometimes I will just get along with people who absolutely drive me insane. These people sometimes even like to think they are my friends. Does that make me a bad person? Personally, I say no. If being nice to a person and not making them feel uncomfortable is something I can do and handle, I guess it is a good skill of mine. I don’t see why being rude to people and shutting them down when they are just trying to be friendly should be your first choice.

So, maybe I should be more obvious with the little things in my life I want to be changed. Maybe I should say, “Hey, I was waiting in line, you can’t butt.” But maybe, being this weird contradiction is some higher power telling me to just let it go and keep rolling with the flow. Being kind and nice and making others feel comfortable should be something I am proud of, but I should probably look for a middle ground. I shouldn’t be losing out on being comfortable or getting what rightfully belongs to me. So, for now, I am a contradiction. In the future, hopefully, I will figure it all out.