It's that time of year again, the time when Christmas music began playing over a month ago on nearly 75% of all radio stations. The time when people stand outside of businesses ringing bells and asking for donations to help children in need. The time when holiday specials begin streaming online and on television, and when stores and malls across the globe become hectic with shoppers striving to find that perfect gift for each of the people on their lists. The time when children fall asleep with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads and of Santa Claus riding his sleigh throughout the night sky while guided by eight tiny reindeer, with Rudolph leading the way of course. The time of year when traffic is hell on wheels and it takes hours to get somewhere that is not even a complete hour away because everybody and their grandmother is out on the highway to go visit family or for last minute shopping. The time when more wrecks occur and more DUIs are processed. The time when depression sets in and suicide is at an all time high. As you grow older, you soon realize that this is the time when joy is temporary.

So maybe Christmas is your favourite holiday and you're one of those people who get into the spirit as soon as the Christmas tunes begin playing. Cool, that's great. Your spirits are high because it's "the most wonderful time of the year." And honestly it is, but I've noticed over the years of growing up that this feeling is temporary. Once Thanksgiving is over, (nearly) everyone turns into this more cheerful, kind-spirited, Christmas-loving...I don't want to say "monster," but...well...it's this new persona that just takes over and (most of the time) it's for the better. People (who don't normally say anything to anyone) are more likely to speak to you, people donate more especially to Toys for Tots, people are in a more giving mood and it reflects on their attitude whether they say anything or don't. It's a crazy thing, it's as though an airborne virus has hit and infects everyone for the better. But, alas, after Christmas is over what happens? Everyone goes back to being the same as before. The negativity comes back. (Some) people go back to not speaking, to being rude, and just aren't the same as their December personas. Now I say some people, not all people are like this. But watch, just observe social media and the people you see on a day-to-day basis. Just watch the change, you'll see it.

But what about the negativity? The holidays can be a sad and an extremely stressful time, and honestly I think that's why Christmas is not my most favourite holiday. It's a wonderful idea, but going into the holidays each year I lose something. I lose more and more of that excitement, that joy of Christmastime and the holidays. I love Christmas lights, New Year's, the fireworks and all. It's beautiful and captivating.

Perhaps it's lost because I live in the southeast where our Christmas weather is anything but Christmassy... Or maybe it's because I'm not a child anymore and no longer have that dream fantasy of Christmas and snow and Santa and the North Pole... Or perhaps because I don't have any children of my own yet to create the Christmas dreamworld for them and strive to make them love the holiday just as much as most of the earth's population. Or even because Christmas just isn't my absolute favourite holiday; Halloween is. Or maybe because I'm at that age where I have my own long list of people to shop for which makes my bank account cringe. Whatever the reason, this year I'm not feeling it.

But, honestly, holidays are supposed to be about family and spending time with those you don't see as often. I don't really have that. More often than not, other than spending time with my parents (and demonic little brother), my maternal grandparents and my maternal aunts and uncles, I spend most of the holidays with my friends and my boyfriend and their families. I don't really have that hectic holiday schedule over which day and time to have Christmas with these family members and which day is for the others and so on and so on with planning and scheduling. I mean, I guess it's good that it's not crazily hectic and rushed, but still I often wonder what it would be like. We used to have that, but things happen you know? And maybe that's partly the reason for my holiday non-excitement. I mean, yeah maybe that'll all change one day when I have a family of my own. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I enjoy my holiday, but sometimes I just can't help but wonder if that helps people get into this super holiday spirit.

Whatever the reason, if you're not really feeling this holiday season, I'm right there with ya. Maybe it's just all a part of growing up and getting older. Who knows?