Fears.
Everyone has them, and their everyone's struggle.
This past week, my worst fear became true.
When I was younger, say around Elementary School age, school was a lot more stressful then it should have been for someone who had barely reached double digits. If I got less than a 90 on anything, I'd automatically be punished. Yelled at, grounded, you name it.
Because of this, I have an extreme phobia of failing, specifically failing classes. There would be so much fear and disappointment in me if there was anything lower than my own expectations.
As a junior in high school, I'd been successful so far. I'd admit, there have been a few C's in my transcript along the way, but I'd always passed. I was proud.
Until this last week.
Math has never been my strong suite, ask anyone, really. This year changed, and for some reason, no matter how much studying I did, I couldn't catch a break. I failed my final so, in conclusion, I failed a class semester for the first time.
I had never been more disappointed in myself in my entire life. I got home and cried for hours before realizing I had another final the next day to study for. It really sucked.
"Why am I so stupid, why am I such a failure?" These were the words I kept thinking as I went over the last few weeks. Countless after school tutoring, countless all nighters as I slaved over a math book just trying to understand. There were countless days where I skipped lunch because I spent the time trying to understand my math homework.
Why didn't it work? What did I do wrong? That is when I found my answer.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Something high schoolers tend to not understand is that, frankly, you can't be perfect at everything. You can't be perfect all the time. You're going to have strengths and you are going to have weaknesses.
Look at me, for example. I can't do one pre-calculus problem to save my life, but I can write a three page essay an hour before it's due and ace it. We're all good at something. Failing one semester isn't the end of the world.
So, what did I learn from all this?
Students need to learn not to be afraid of failure. I need to learn not to be afraid of failure. Failure is something we need in life. It's that one thing in the back of our minds we need to get us to push harder, to be better.
I may have failed a semester of pre-calc, but life?
Doing pretty good so far.
