It hurts when you get your heart broken. It hurts when you see the person you care about so much with someone else. It hurts when you want the best for someone, but you possibly could have been the best for them. It hurts when you feel homesick, but for a person. What hurts the most is when you know how you feel but you cannot put it into words.
It seems so simple to say how you feel but when you go to talk, no words come out. Being confused whether I actually have feelings for someone or if it is just a phase, is what gets me. Another thing that gets me is opening up to someone. I fear that I will open up to someone and they will get scared, so their decision is to leave.
You can feel a connection with a person all you want. People can tell you how good you two are together. Everyone can say they see it, but if you do not see it then it feels like there isn’t a point. Trying to see what everyone else says they see is like trying to pick someone out of a crowd, you say you see them but in reality, you do not see anything.
Being confused about how I feel about somebody has me in a state of anxiety at all times. What makes it worse is when you both have a past together, so you start to see signs you saw in the beginning. You feel like the signs are the same but you do not know how to react. It feels like you are walking on eggshells because you do not want to say or do the wrong thing. You do not want to overstep boundaries and you also do not want it to seem like you are interested.
While you feel that all the answers are right in front of you, it still is confusing on which one to choose. You do not want to pick the wrong one and ruin something that could possibly happen. Then there is the problem that you could pick another one and things are rushed. So you are stuck in a position where you feel like you cannot pick anything.
People come and go, some as they please and others, how I please. We never really know how long people will be in our lives. There have been times where I feel that some people are meant to be in my life forever, but then they show their true colors. While I am confused of the situations I am placed in with some people, they have made me a stronger person.
While I know that there is a reason why people are in my life, I wish I knew the exact reason.
