Feeling powerless is the worst feeling in the world. Let me tell you now, I know the feeling, and usually we’re not as powerless as we think. When things go wrong, we can’t always fix them, but we can always try. The situation I’m specifically thinking about is when there’s a problem between you and a friend, coworker, acquaintance, etc. and it needs to be addressed. A recent experience helped me realize that no matter how difficult it may be, I have to confront people who are hurting me.

A few weeks ago, I confronted a friend of mine who had been talking negatively about me to some of my other friends. I told her that I didn’t appreciate being talked about and if there was an issue, she could speak with me about it. Although it didn’t go well and she took a very condescending route by basically telling me I’m not worth her breath, I was glad I told her how I felt. I knew before saying anything that she wasn’t going to apologize or own up to talking about me, but I needed her to know that I’m not going to let her continue doing it without at least trying to put a stop to it.

The problem with keeping your feelings in and not confronting people is that without letting people know that something is wrong, they don’t recognize that a change needs to be made. People who treat others badly will continue to do it, sometimes even after being confronted about it. We can’t just let people walk all over us and let them think that’s okay. Even if these people continue to act negatively towards you, it’s worth it to stick up for yourself. No one deserves to be treated badly.

What helps me get through tough confrontations is knowing that I have a good support system behind me. Whenever I have even the slightest issue, I know I have people to turn to for advice and encouragement. For instance, when I confronted my friend a few weeks ago, I called my best friend afterward and she assured me that I deserve to be treated in a better manner. She also told me she was proud of me for speaking up for myself. Having a support system behind me helps me deal with these tough situations. Luckily, there haven’t been a ton of bad situations in my life so far, but I know whenever there is something going on, I have people to turn to.

Confrontation is hard, I’ll admit it. There’s no right time or place to do it, but we have to suck it up and do it. What makes the whole thing better is knowing that you are doing something for yourself. In the moment, it’s not easy, but looking back on it, I know that when I stick up for myself, I am believing in myself and knowing that I deserve more than what I’m getting.

So the next time someone isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated, take a breath, think about the situation and tell the person how you feel. Even if nothing changes, know that you are not powerless, and by speaking up for yourself you are reminding yourself of the respect you deserve.