I think I speak for the entire texting population when I say that everyone has had some experience with a terrible texter. Now, when I say “terrible texter,” I am definitely not talking about people who don’t respond exactly two seconds after you text them every time you text them. And I’m not talking about the average human being who might occasionally forget to respond for a couple hours. The people I’m talking about are the ones who are so bad at texting, you’re starting to think that receiving a text from the president is more realistic than receiving one from them. Even terrible texters like myself have had experience with other terrible texters at one point or another. Trust me, we know we’re aggravating, but we really aren’t trying to cause any issues! So, on behalf of all terrible texters everywhere, I would like to make the general public more educated about this misunderstood population.
If you are a terrible texter, it means that you are sometimes considered the world’s worst kind of person. Or at least the person(s) you aren’t responding to thinks so. You’re the friend who is assumed to be MIA or dead because you haven’t actually read the group text in four weeks. At any given time, you have an ungodly amount of unread messages, which will undoubtedly remain unread for several more days. Calling you out for not replying is actually a fairly common conversation starter for the majority of people you run into in public. When you do text people back, your messages probably begin with, “Sorry, I was busy,” or, “Sorry, I thought I replied,” or even, “I just now saw your text.”
It’s not that you’re intentionally trying to ignore everybody (most of the time). Throughout the day, you probably don’t check your phone consistently because… Oh, I don’t know, life. And just because you’re looking at your phone, doesn’t mean you’re checking your texts. Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook sometimes require your undivided attention. When you do eventually get around to reading a few of the ridiculous number of unread messages in your inbox, it’s very likely something else will grab your attention making you forget all about that text you just opened. Everyone has faults, and being a serial communication killer just happens to be ours.
As a terrible texter, “We hold these truths to be self-evident”:
- Turning on one’s read receipts is never a good idea and can result in death or physical harm.
- “Do Not Disturb” is a good thing, and it is completely acceptable to leave it turned on all day.
- If it’s important, they’ll call.
For those of you who are non-terrible texters, I hope this information helped you better understand why we do the things we do. It’s not always easy being bad at texting in a world where texting is the primary form of communication. But this is who we are, and we thank you for accepting us anyway.
Questions? Please refer to the FAQ section below where an actual terrible texter (me) addresses common questions received via text.
FAQs
Q: “Why don’t you ever text me back?”
A: I do not like texting, and I am also bad at it. Better yet, it’s not you, it’s me.
Q: “Are you ignoring me?”
A: It’s possible, but probably not. I am just unusually bad at remembering to reply.
Q: “Are you alive?”
A: Yes, but if I was dead, a text is probably not the most effective way to communicate.
Q: “Hello??”
A: Hi again. I am probably in the shower or doing something important. I will respond eventually.
Q: “?”
A: Personally, this is my favorite. It’s not actually a question, but the message is clear: they want to know if I forgot to respond to the previous text. Yes, I probably forgot, and this is actually a good way to remind me to respond.
