I know that I’m not the only one. I’m not alone. There are others like me who have realized their destructive behavior. And it’s hard. I don’t want to waste water, or miss out on important life experiences because I am busy singing J Beib’s new single at the top of my lungs. But I can’t help myself. There is no sweeter sound then the warm water hitting the floor tiles, no feeling better than being totally surrounded by water and steam while smelling the sweet fruity sent of my shampoo. I know I have a problem, I just don’t think there is anything I can do about it. Here are a few signs that you, too, might have a shower addiction.
1. Friends have said you have a problem, and have tried to fix you
With none-too-subtle gifts, for example
2. Well, good for them, but you can't be changed
They just don't understand
3. You have a faithful and detailed pre-shower ritual
And by ritual I do mean just standing around looking in the mirror. Don't pretend you don't do this every day.
4. You get your best singing done in there
You relate to Emma Stone on a spiritual level
5. Shower time = music time on all levels
You probably have a special shower playlist, something creative like "shower," or "prep for American Idol"
6. You once cut your hair just so it would be easier to wash
Anything to make showering be best experience of your life. Long hair makes it considerably less enjoyable, so sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the greater good.
7. You have missed class just to shower
Class, church, social gatherings. Nothing is really worth it compared to a shower
8. You shower when you’re in a good mood
There is so much joy contained in shampoo bottles! I'm convinced they are made from sunshine and daisies.
9. You shower when you’re upset
Because few things are as comforting as your safe, warm, watery escape
10. You shower when you have to make important decisions, because you get your best ideas while showering
Fun fact: many people believe that "Eureka," the phrase now used whenever someone has a good idea, was coined while in the bath house.
11. And your showers always end something like this:
You just can't leave
12. Showering is life. Now if you will excuse me, I think I hear the sweet, sweet call of watery cleanliness.
