Hello, everyone! My name is Nicole and I’m a quitter. I just resigned as member and officer in two of my on-campus organizations. I will more likely than not quit band next semester, an activity I have participated in without fail since 8th grade. In addition, I’ve been going round and round with myself about quitting my current job for the past semester or so.

By now, I’m sure most of you are scratching your heads at this sudden purge of my schedule. “You quit TWO officer positions? What on earth are you going to put on your resume? Are people going still want to hire you?” “You’ve done band for seven years—why quit now?” Or, if you’re an older individual reading this, “Oh look, another lazy millennial throwing away her future to binge watch Netflix.”

Trust me, all of these thoughts—especially the resume implications and the potential judgement by authority figures—crossed my mind before making this decision. Multiple times. Looking the leaders of two honor societies in the eye and telling them I was quitting their program is easily one of the most terrifying and difficult things I’ve ever done. I’m a crazy-ridiculous people pleaser, and the thought of disappointing these two people had me shaking in my boots for a good week. Luckily, both of them took it very well.

But even if they hadn’t, I know deep down that this was the right decision for me.

This past summer, I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to study in Germany for a month. This program could not have possibly come at a better time for me. The semester before, filled with a tough breakup (then again, is there ever an easy breakup?), extra-challenging classes and a vengeful return of some health issues I thought had been taken care of years before, had left me drained, full of self-doubt and in desperate need of change and perspective.

Throughout that next month, as cliché as I know this sounds, I learned so much about myself, about the people around me and about the world in general, I knew before I boarded the plane home that I wanted—no, NEEDED to come back, and for longer than a month. I also learned that, through God’s grace, I am capable: capable of holding onto and developing my values in the face of opposition, capable of doing terrifying things such as asking people for directions in another language, capable of finding my way back to the hotel after getting off on the wrong tram stop (again) and capable of caring about people, about the world, in ways I never imagined possible.

I realized I am capable of being happy and healthy — two things I never imagined I could be six months ago.

In addition, I realized that I am capable of pursuing my dreams.

With all this in mind, I decided to step down from two organizations I wasn’t deeply passionate about in order to dedicate myself to things I am deeply passionate about: Germany, my faith and writing. I’m currently working with my German teacher, my advisor, the study abroad coordinator at my college as well as several people at the University Duisberg-Essen to make my dream of returning to Germany for a year a reality, as well as applying for a second job to help finance the whole thing. I am a member of a weekly on-campus Bible study my church puts on, and will possibly be co-teaching college Sunday school this semester. Finally, I enrolled in a creative writing class this semester and tracked down the editor-in-chief of my campus Odyssey community in order to become a Content Creator.

While my resume might have lost a couple of items, I still have plenty to add. I remain involved in two other on-campus organizations (one of which I am also an officer of), and I'm still in marching band and will likely continue in music once I return from Germany. I have been at my current job for four years, and while I would love to quit it sooner rather than later, it pays well, so I’m hoping my second job will be at least a change of pace if nothing else.