We all know that one person that always has to be doing something—that always has a new goal or project. They are always running from one thing to another. They are constantly busy. Their friends tell them they work too much or take on too many projects. Sometimes it is out of need, but many times, it is out of choice.
I can easily be classified into the second category. I keep busy by choice. Even when I am just at home, I have to be doing something. I could work an entire day, but after sitting on the couch I start to get very fidgety and begin looking for things to do.
It really can be anything. One time I cleaned my entire house twice in one day because I just couldn’t stand sitting and watching the television. Another time I color-coordinated my closet, even though it was already color-coordinated.
I will go on random walks for hours, which I guess is a good thing, just so I am not inside. I will start planning for all the things I need to pack for school, even though I never really unpacked.
When I am at school, I am even worse. Once I realized how much free time I actually had, I would do projects and homework to get ahead for the week, and eventually I still had so much free time that I did not know what to do with it.
People have constantly said to me, “You have issues sitting still don’t you?” And they are right. I can’t just hang out and do nothing. On the days that I do end up just chilling, people will ask if I’m okay because it is so out of character for me. Especially this past summer I’ve noticed that I really need to keep busy all the time. Now I am getting to the point of wondering why.
At first I thought to myself that I was just me naturally needing to keep active, but then I realized that couldn’t be it, because even when I am exhausted I will stay up every late and just be thinking. Then I thought to myself that I keep busy because I am a planner, always looking to the future and never really focusing in the moment. I also thought that it could be me trying to keep my mind off things going on in my life—which if I am being perfectly honest with myself, is probably the case.
I will say this to the people who tell me I work too much or that I do too much. I have my varying reasons for needing and choosing to stay busy. I am an over-thinker, I over analyze every single aspect of my life. I think of hypothetical scenarios all the time. I think backwards, forwards, vertical, and horizontal. I am constantly thinking, but keeping busy helps me not think as much, which is exactly what I need, sometimes. I need to not think, to not worry, to just live life and keeping busy lets me do that.
However, with all that being said, I do recognize that sometimes keeping busy causes me to miss out of opportunities that life can offer. I realize that constant need to be doing something is a bad habit to have, and that it is important to have some down time, because otherwise I will burn out. It is all about finding the right balance between hanging out and keeping busy, I just haven't found it yet.
