Don't be silenced by the deafening sound of a group of powerful men. Though their voices carry much farther and much louder than that of our own, we have the right and duty to fellow mutes to speak up and share our stories. Prevention best happens when awareness is brought to attention. By standing in a crowd with our mouths sewn shut while a man freely grabs our butts or grazes our chest we are providing them the opportunity to continue to make the same mistake over and over again. When we try to "ignore" men while they abuse our names and scream profanities at us on the side walk, we give men permission to look at our bodies and think whatever derogatory thought they please. Stop being a bystander in your own sexual harassment. Find your voice and use it to keep some men from being given the opportunity to see our bodies as products and not actual parts of a person who treasures their body.
In elementary school a rumor was started that I stuffed my bra with toilet paper. I came home so confused, so lost, so angry that someone had even thought to say such things about me. To my knowledge, I did nothing to draw attention to myself or do anything to trigger such a rumor to have flourished and gotten back to me. What I now find most terrifying is that in elementary school, my chest was the topic of conversation that spread like wildfire within a matter of a day. Who knew that at such a young age breasts could be the focal point of conversation.
Years past and I went to middle school. Just when I thought life couldn't get anymore awkward or complicated, hormones were raging. Boys were wild and did whatever they could to show off. Girls hit that pre-teen stage and are able to understand what it is truly like to have crushes on boys. Middle school was a terrible time, for everyone because it was filled with awkward, awkward and more awkward. But in the midst of finding out where we fit in the world and what we were even doing on this planet, boys dubbed it justifiable to throw things down my shirt; repeatedly; even made a game of it. Constantly staring down my shirt or right at my shirt. Often times they would graze my chest in passing or going in for a hug just to cop a feel. Comments were made about my chest on what seemed to be a weekly basis. I ended up "dating" a boy who pressured me to give up my virginity--needless to say that relationship ended as soon as it had started.
The high school years were the worst in comparison to what I had previously experienced. There were a mixture of guys now; some much older than me. I was already a scared freshman not knowing what to expect or know what to do. But having the continuous stares at my chest didn't help. Having the sly comments made about my body, didn't help. Having a guy repeatedly ask me for pictures via messenger, didn't help. Being sexually harassed repeatedly did not help.Trying to adapt and feel comfortable in a place where I was supposed to feel safe was now impossible to reach due to the unforgettable never-ending sexual harassment.
Now being an adult, I should be used to it, right? I shouldn't get upset at the fact that guys freely look at my chest while standing in line at the store. What's the point of getting angry over something I have no control of? Why should I get mad over boys being boys? All those years in school having grown up in a world where boys expression of affection was by being mean: pushing girls around, verbally harassing them, poking fun at them or making snide comments at the lunch table, it should've prepared me for how the world treats women. In no way was I prepared or ready for what I've witnessed in adulthood. All I see are men taking advantage of women, sexually assaulting them while the men come out being the victim, women being silenced for a crime committed against them, justifications being made as to why the men felt "teased" or "led on". On what planet is it alright for a man to come onto a woman because he felt teased, tempted or led on? At what point did the word consent leave the dictionary?
Ladies, I commend you for your strength for having endured the abuse that you have from select men of this world and all of its entirety of unfairness. I applaud the women who have used their voice and broke the chains of silence to speak out against their oppressors. Because I have a confession to make; most things that are mentioned in this article are making their debut to the public eye today. I am a victim of fear and have been silenced long enough. To the voiceless I call out and plead that you not be a bystander anymore to your own harassment, but say something to activate people to do something.
