At this point in time, I'm in a period of life where I feel as though I'm supposed to know what I'm doing. This is not the case. I assume this will not be the case for at least 3 more years. Please tell me I have 3 more years to figure out what I'm doing...
After turning 24 this month I've (and by I I mean my gracious and sensitive friend) come to a realization that I am closer to age 30 than I am to age 18. The very fact that I will be 30 in 6 years when I was a freshman in college 6 years ago is disheartening to say the least. That being said, I can honestly say the past 6 years were not useless. The lessons I've learned in my 6 years of college and then some have been abundant and while generally painful, useful in this odd, transitional period of my life.
No, this is not a list of all life lessons you've read in Cosmo: don't ever settle, wait for the one who treats you right, follow your dreams. Of course, those are all excellent lessons. They are also lessons that you do not need to learn from actual experience. Every John Hughes directed movie ever can teach you that. Here's what I really learned through my 20's.
Everyone has weaknesses and everyone has different intentions. Find these out early. Whether this is commitment, work ethic, bad sense of style, mommy issues, daddy issues, a drug problem, ect. They are there, the baggage is there. You will find out what it is. Whether it is too late or not is a different story.
Here's a big one that no one tells you: you will not care even if you find out early what these weaknesses are. The heart is strong and aggressive. It will not tell you, regardless of your standards, whether you should let these weaknesses in. And you will. That's okay, just be prepared for the consequences. And in your head, I know you think you are. The only way out of this is experiencing it unfortunately.
You can physically feel pain in your heart. Yes, it is an ache in your chest. The first "heartbreak" I ever experienced was in 7th grade. The boy I liked in school didn't like me back. I was devastated. Relatively speaking, I don't think I even cried I just listened to a lot of Dashboard Confessional. Fast forward to 9th grade. The boy that took me to Winterball and seemed to want to ask me to be his girlfriend came into school one day and low and behold had a girlfriend, who was not me. I don't like to think that this may have been the start of a pattern in my choice of men but I digress. Your heart will hurt. I felt it in 7th grade and I felt it again at age 22 in my apartment alone followed by an unhealthy amount of boxed wine was put into my system. The pain, as I recall, is similar but with greater consequences and has a more severe reaction the older you get. There is no time limit, I can't say that in a month you'll be okay. But do everything you can to get better. Your pain is real. Therapy is okay, being alone is okay, being sad is okay. It passes eventually, but the sooner you deal with the emotion the better.
You are not defined by your followers but it will affect your mood/self-esteem either way. I'm not going to lie, I love when someone texts me and tells me they actually read my articles. I do this for my own personal sanity but I am in fact as vapid as they come and appreciate being noticed. Everyone does. That's why Instagram and Snapchat are as big as they are. He liked your picture and yes it does mean something. It means he noticed you, don't let it control you but you can at least appreciate that. As confusing as this generation is, a "like" is a "like" (God I hate this generation).
Your career is not necessarily your passion. You will not wake up one day with a general studies career path and suddenly have the epiphany that you will become a biomedical engineer. I specifically remember the street I was on when I called my dad to tell him I was switching my major from Communications to Elementary Education. Did this work out for me? Not at first no. I struggled with my career goals for a good 3 years and decided to get a master's to compensate. That part just happened to work out for me. Is special education necessarily my passion? Okay yes, it is a passion of mine I wouldn't be able to do the work that I do without having a passion for it but my point is it did not happen the second I got to college.
You can plan as much as you want but you will still get out of college and have no idea what you're doing. I don't care if you're employed full time, living in an awesome apartment in your dream city with your fiancé at age 22. You will still be confused. Because life is complicated and unpredictable. That's okay. You will be okay.
