As the rainy season winds down and the school year comes to a close, summertime is right around the corner. Growing up along the Santa Barbara coastline, us locals are truly #blessed. We live in paradise year-round, and we get front-row seats to tourist season. How can things get any better than that?
As we sit chuckling to ourselves, there are many questions we have, and also some things we wish to make clear to some of our annual visitors. For example, why do you wear your Crocs in the ocean? And no, I don't find the guy who I have known since first grade that has dated at least four of my best friends to be a “dreamy surfer boy.” So here is a list of confessions from a Carpinteria local, to you.
1. It is not okay to walk around town in a barely visible bikini.
Not wearing shoes is one thing, we do that all the time, but not wearing clothing into a restaurant where food is prepared crosses the line. It is not fun to serve people while their boobs are hanging out on the counter, trust me. And I don't want my grandma seeing that while she takes her daily walks through town. Who knows, she might have a heart attack! So please, for the sake of all grandmothers out there (and concerned grandchildren), put some clothes on.
2. Not all of us are surfers.
If you’ve grown up or have even lived in Southern California, you most likely know how to surf. You live right next to the Pacific ocean, so unless you're allergic to salt water or have a strange fear of wetsuits, it comes with the territory. But the fact that we know how to surf doesn’t mean we are all the stereotypical surfers that you have seen in Blue Crush. We don’t all have bleached hair and use the word “brah” in every single sentence. It may even surprise you to hear that some of us don’t even like the beach, which I find strange, but hey — that’s just my personal opinion.
3. We have games making fun of tourists (sorry, but not sorry).
If you were in our shoes, you would see why it is funny. And come one, how else are we supposed to pass time? They are not necessarily bad games, we just like to point out the whitest people on the beach and see at the end of the day how much they look like a lobster. We watch what tourists do when they encounter seaweed for the first time, or what “historical artifact” in our little town they choose to take a selfie with.
4. None of us refer to California as “Cali.”
If you even utter the word “Cali”, us locals automatically know that you are not from California. And don’t even get me started on the “Cali” merchandise that have the Californian flag with Rastafarian colors and giant grizzly bear; let’s just say that those don’t deserve to exist.
5. We eat avocados and fresh fruit like there’s no tomorrow.
Honesty, praise the Lord for Farmer’s Market runs and avocado orchards that around every corner; I don’t know where I would be without them.
6. SNL’s “Californians” skit is fairly accurate.
If you haven’t seen these, go watch them. You won’t regret it, and they are kind of spot on. I mean, they are a bit extreme, but we do know our 101 like the back of our hand.
7. Our mid-summer fair at St. Joe’s and the Avocado Festival are our town's two prized social scenes.
If you don’t come back from college looking good at these events, Carpinteria’s whole population will know by the next morning. No pressure or anything. And of course we are going to go, we wouldn’t miss these events, even if it meant missing a college exam.
8. We have some of the best Mexican food, hands down.
Don’t try and argue with us on this one, there is no point. Just come and taste for yourself.
9. We secretly love taking part in touristy activities.
We’re not as cool as we try and seem; we are just in love with our little town as you are. So even though we may attempt to act superior (because we are territorial and have to act nonchalant), us locals love shopping trips on State Street and taking boat excursions to the Channel Islands in the spring to go whale watching.
10. Tourist season can be annoying sometimes, but Carpinteria couldn’t function without it, and for that, we are eternally grateful.
Our little town couldn’t survive without the revenue we get from tourists who come here every year. Our small businesses, like the little candy shop on the corner that has been there for more than 20 years, wouldn’t make it through the winter without tourists who invest in it. So from us locals to you, thank you.
