As a parent, when you think of all the times you've been scared for your child you might think of when they got injured playing a sport, the first time they learned how to ride a bicycle, or maybe the day you sent them off to college. My parents, on the other hand, would tell you that the scariest day of their lives with me was when I got my license...so without further ado, here are my confessions of being a bad driver:
I didn't swerve because I was texting.
I swerved because sometimes it's hard to steer straight. OK, so that might sound super scary, but believe me when I tell you it's not that bad. Sometimes I'll be driving and get momentarily distracted and swerve a little. As you pass me with that glare in your eyes, try not to always assume I'm texting (because that's rude).
Dancing > Driving.
Even though you probably think you're such a better driver than me (even though you're probably right), don't even try to deny the fact that when your song comes on you dance like there is no tomorrow. You can't just nod your head either, you have to go big or go home. Therefore, I usually fist bump, sing obnoxiously loud, and headbang all while driving. Sounds kind of dangerous but don't worry, it's completely safe.
I honestly have no idea how far I am away from your car.
Some people can't see color well, some people can't read fast, and some people don't have the athletic ability to play basketball. Well, I don't have the ability to judge distance. Whenever I parallel park, I hold my breath because I have no idea how close I am to hitting your car. "Why don't you use your mirrors?" you may ask. Well, I do. It's just that I think I'm two feet away when in reality I'm about six inches.
The first time I got into the driver's seat of a car, I didn't know which one was the brake and which one was the gas.
Coincidentally, this was also the day I witnessed my dad completely give up on my driving (ha ha, I'm sorry, Dad). The look on my dad's face was one of disbelief and terror. But, how can you expect me to know if I've never driven before? I'm actually convinced that nobody else knows, either, I'm just the only one to admit it...right?
One time I thought I put my dad's truck in park and it was actually in reverse.
Needless to say, it started backing down the street with nobody in it. This was also the day my dad partially tore his rotator cuff trying to jump into the moving truck (again, I'm sorry, Dad). Oh, and to make matters worse, right before this happened, I was telling my dad he needed to have more faith in my driving abilities.
So, now that I have gotten that off my chest, I want to remind you that my driving isn't all that bad. I'm a cautious driver, I have never been pulled over, I got a 100 percent on my maneuverability test (I have no idea how), and I am courteous to other drivers. As long as you keep your distance, you should be good…at least, I hope.
