Confessions of a Military Wife Part 1: The Lonely Road
Relationships

Confessions of a Military Wife Part 1: The Lonely Road

When no one RSVP's to your pity party that just means there's more cake for you.

 Alura Romero
Oct 10, 2016
Virginia Beach, Virginia
235
pixabay

Being a military wife is not all it’s cracked up to be. I am honored and blessed to have the title of “military wife” however, a lot of emotions come with that title.

There is no introductory course for being a military wife and there is no guide book to reference. When I was a newlywed I would search military spouse pages on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter hoping to connect with a wife near me who was in the same boat. Reading through these pages and blogs made being a military wife seem awful. These pages were created as a personal venting chat room and I just couldn’t read them anymore.

I have always been a firm believer in girlfriends and girl time. I am so thankful for the best friends I have made through every stage of my life, from high school to college and in between. My life mantra from Candace Bushnell in Sex and the City is, “Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with.”

When I got married and moved 12 hours away from my home, I was thrilled to find all new soul mates. To my dismay, it didn’t happen the way I planned.

Finding other military wives to hang out with and get to know has been the hardest part of my transition from single to married to military. Through my searches, I have found that I have close to nothing in common with military wives. I don’t like/have babies, I don’t like saying at home, and I certainly don’t like talking bad about my husband (all topics of which I have experienced personally on many occasions)

During my first couple of years as a military wife I became quite the host for pity-parties. I had no friends, my husband was usually gone out to sea and my closest family members lived 3 hours away. We eventually bought a dog and he filled a teeny-tiny void in my lack-of-friends hole. The funny part is that my dog actually created some of the closest friendships I have to this day. We met some amazing couples (who are non-military) at the dog park, at local meet-ups and other places and have bonded and created lasting relationships with them. All because of my dog.

I will never meet people like my soul mates back home and I think that’s what I was trying to do when I first moved and became a military wife. The people who I’ve met and the girls I’ve built relationships with are completely different from my soul mates, but that’s okay because I am a completely different person than I was before getting married. My soul mates and I bonded over boys, booze, and bars. There’s nothing wrong with that, and we still occasionally bond over two of those three things, but where I’m at now in life I’m looking to bond over marriage, education …and still booze.

It’s not easy and it can sometimes be pretty painful. It took me about 3 years to find some amazing girls and really connect with them. THREE YEARS! It used to take me 3 minutes to find friends. The hardest part is that after you’ve put all the work into building and creating these relationships, then the military decides to take them away. The positive thing is that I now have friends all across the United States. Friends that I would have never met had it not been for me being a military wife.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

Oklahoma State
p1.pxfuel.com

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

Syracuse University
Unsplash

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less
food
Lifestyle

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

Unsplash

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less
identities
Lifestyle

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIKdnMHcGr/

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Unsplash

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less
wellness
Health and Wellness

I Wore A Butt Mask Every Day For A Month, And It's Officially Essential In My Daily Self-Love Routine Now

Thirty days later, my booty's as smooth as a baby's.

@bawdybeauty

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less
beauty
Swoon

This Amazon Best-Selling Sex Toy Has Over 1,770 Five-Star Reviews, And It's Now On Sale For $28

One woman said she cried because it changed her life.

cottonbro from Pexels

Friends, you don't have to be quarantined to use a personal massager, you know? Because, sure, quarantine made for a lot of extra quality time with yourself, but no matter what phase of the reopening process you're in, it's normal and actually healthy to take care of your sexual needs on your own.

Keep Reading... Show less
sex
Entertainment

5 Books I Didn't Realize Are About Gay Women

If you read primarily LGBTQ fiction, then this list might help to expand your TBR list.

Missouri State University
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Frequent readers of LGBTQ fiction might feel like they're reading the same book over and over again, with few exceptions.

Most of these books were on my TBR list for months and I didn't realize they were about gay women until I was reading them, hopefully, this list of books can interest you in expanding your reading material and seeking out different stories.

Keep Reading... Show less
books
Facebook Comments