I graduated as part of the Class of 2015 from St. Anthony High School in Milwaukee. I was the valedictorian, and I have to admit, I was and still am pretty proud of this accomplishment. The road to becoming valedictorian was an interesting one; sometimes it was difficult, and other times it was fun, but I can concretely say that it worth it. However, there are some things that I have never told anyone, so I’m going to post them on the internet because isn’t that always the wisest thing to do?
1. I cried over an A- … and begged for extra credit.
It was American Literature my junior year of high school. I had just finished a paper for the class that I was not particularly confident about, and my already low A was hanging in the balance. I remember seeing the grades update while in homeroom, and I was on the verge of a panic attack when I saw the A-. Today, an A- is a huge success, but back then it felt like the end of the world. I was desperate. My 4.00 was going to go down the drain because of the subject I was supposed to be best at! I went to talk to my teacher and ended up breaking down. I’m pretty sure she thought I was ridiculous. I begged her for an extra credit assignment, and probably freaked out by the blubbering, snotty mess I was, she granted it to me. On the bright side, six pages about alienation in “The Open Boat” later, my 4.00 was safe! Yes, I was a dramatic high schooler.
2. I flipped out at a boy for causing my group an F on a class assignment.
Sigh. Definitely not my proudest moment. The poor kid was so bewildered. In my defense, I think he messed up our assignment on purpose. Anyways, the dreaded F never went in the grade book, so I traumatized someone and caused myself a sore throat in vain.
3.I did not study as much as everyone thought I did.
Pretty early into my freshman year, I earned my reputation as the “smart girl.” It was kind of funny, actually. I went from being anonymous to 'walking Wikipedia.' Because of this, most people assumed I spent my every waking moment studying. Truth is, I was actually a terrible studier. Seriously, I’m currently paying not building good study habits. Sure, I read my notes a couple of times, made a few flashcards here and there, and quizzed myself before exams, but I was nowhere near the hardcore studier my classmates thought I was. I was honestly kind of lazy. I never really negated their assumptions, so that’s kind of my fault. Sorry to disappoint, Class of 2015.
4. I started planning my speech during Sophomore year.
Presumptuous, I know. I never went into high school with the idea of becoming valedictorian, but after Freshman year, I was in love with the idea. I was confident that if I worked hard I could do, and if I kept my grades up, the spot was mine. I often zoned out during class (shame on me), and daydreamed about what my speech would be like. I had the brilliant idea of ending my speech with the lyrics, “I look up to the sky, and now the world is mine. I’ve known it all my life, I made it” from the song “I Made It” by Cash Money Heroes. Yeah, that didn’t happen, but hey, it was cute thought!
5. Senior year, I had no clue what to write about.
When the valedictorian spot was officially mine, I was excited, but then it hit me that I had to actually write a speech now. Classic. I was terrified; public speaking has never been my forte. I felt so much pressure. I didn’t want to bore my classmates to death, and my speech had to be funny but meaningful, original but not cliché. I wanted my speech to mean something, but I had no idea how to do that. I even considered plagiarism at one point, but I couldn’t let myself do that. Thankfully, I eventually got myself together and came up with a pretty decent speech, or at least, that’s what I’d like to think.
6. I felt, and sometimes still feel, guilty.
Getting straight As was pretty cool, but a part of me always felt bad for those who didn’t. I dreaded having someone ask me what I’d gotten on a test or how I’d done in a paper because the looks they gave me made me feel like I was somehow doing something wrong. Today, I feel guilty when my little brother says he doesn’t want to attend the same high school I did because he thinks he can’t measure up to the “bar I set.” It breaks my heart and makes me feel so powerless, but little brother, I know you’ll set a bar of your own.
7. I felt like I was defined by my grades.
Being known as smart is certainly not bad, but sometimes it felt like that was all people saw when they looked at me, like I was just a brain and nothing else. Other times I felt like people used me when they needed help from me, and in all honesty it hurt, but I am thankful to have found people who saw me as much more than that.
8. I am proud.
Hard as the road might have been and despite the negative aspects, I am and will remain proud of being the Class of 2015’s valedictorian.
