Love at first sight does exist: it is when your food is finally delivered to your table. Here are some ways you can know if you're a true food junkie.
1. You have never been in the “where do you wanna eat” argument.
You know where you want to eat at all time, so petty arguments with others to determine where you are going to spend lunch are such a waste of time. You know the best places to show people and all of the food deals at every restaurant any day of the week.
2. The only way you agree to plans is if food is involved.
Leaving your house is a hassle and the only way you're going to put yourself through the dreaded small talk is if food is on the scene. Got asked if you're seeing anyone? Can't answer if you're shoveling food in your face.
3. You have no shame in the stacks of finished food plates lying in front of you at buffets.
Be proud of those plates. The more the merrier.
4. Grocery store trips take half of your bank account.
God forbid you go grocery shopping hungry because at that point you might as well buy the whole store. You might as well forget the grocery list you spent time writing to help organize and keep you on track because once you catch a glimpse of the double stuff oreos you will go through deep contemplation with yourself if you need them or not, which is a waste of time because you already know you're going to get them. Let's add a bag of chips for good measure, you don't want to starve. But let's be honest, you'll be back to the store in three days.
5. When asked to participate in social gatherings, the first thing you ask is if there is going to be food.
Incase you didn't catch number two, food is the best incentive and if you are going to go out there better be food. Tina can tell you all about how great her life is and you can knod your head deep in conversation. But we both know that all you're thinking about is how many cookies you can get away with taking before someone notices half of the tray was your victim. But what did they put in those things, cinnamon? That's nice.
6. Finding the unique locations of the food hot-spots in every town is what you live for.
There is one rule when you go to new towns: don't eat at places you have at home. Every food junkie knows this: it is code. There is nothing more exciting than scouting out the new joints and discovering all that they have to offer.
7. You are capable of sneaking any amount of food into the movie theatre.
Basically no challenge is to difficult for you. You can look at a full pizza and suddenly the gears start to turn in your head and you try to figure out how you can fit the whole pizza in your purse and enjoy it during a movie.
8. “Bored Eating” isn’t an actual thing to you.
There is no such thing as "bored eating." You never eat because you are bored, you are always eating because it always sounds good. Don't tell me to go drink water instead. Hand me the doritos and no one will get hurt.
9. Sharing your food is the most selfless thing you can do.
If someone asks for a bite and you give it to them, they better never doubt your love. Especially if it's in a crowd and you know if you don't go all sneaky black ops on sharing your food with them others will see and ask too. When that happens, it's game over.
10. All of your friendships were founded on the "I love food!" statement.
The best types of people are the people who love food. World peace could be established over an extremely large pizza.
