I like to call myself a “control enthusiast” -- not to be confused with a control freak. When explaining the difference between the two, I like to say that a control enthusiast is someone who needs to have his or her eyes on everything, whereas a control freak is someone who needs to have his or her hands on everything. Here are some common occurrences that control enthusiasts like myself run into every day:
1. The “if you want something done right, do it yourself” mentality:
This is probably one of the hardest parts of being a control enthusiast. By telling yourself, “If I want it done right then I’d better do it myself!,” you’re not only discrediting the ability of your group/team members, you’re also adding more stress onto your own plate. The first skill you need to learn is how to delegate work throughout the group!
2. Fighting the urge to take over group projects:
Again, deep down you believe you know exactly how you want something to go, and you don’t think anyone else can execute it the way you can. But, again, you don’t want to make it seem like you think your group members are incompetent because you know (for the most part) that they’re not! You try your best not to take over, but you also find a way to the helm of a project. The best skill to learn here is how to let things go. You’ve delegated the work out to others; now it’s on them!
3. The fear of being called “bossy:"
OK, but what if things don’t go the way you envisioned them? What if a teammate is slacking on their end of the deal, and you’re the one who has to get them back on track? You’ve got that lingering fear in the back of your mind that anything you say will come off as overly controlling --or worse, bossy. The goal of a control enthusiast is not to have control for the sake of control, but rather to have the control to help others do a good job. It’s all about delivery here; your tone of voice and word choice make a big difference, especially when people are off track or out of line!
4. The never-ending love of organization tools:
When things get a little crazy, your go-to to get things in order again is organizational tools. One of your favorite stores is probably Staples, or the stationary aisle at Target (I’m 100-percent guilty of this) because planners, notebooks and nice pens will at least give you the illusion that you’re getting everything back on track -- even when things may be out of your control. Spreadsheets are your life, and Google Docs is a lifesaver. Anything that makes it easy to get your thoughts down on paper!
5. The anxiety of knowing you can’t control everything:
