For as long as I can remember, I have been a cheerleader. Starting out cheering on the sidelines as a toddler led me to the big stage of competitive cheerleading around the age of 10. From then on, I lived my life on hard blue mats that always broke my falls. Upon my last ever competition in February of 2018, I didn't know what my life was going to be like with almost daily practices, mysteriously appearing bruises, and being part of a team that was more like family.

I'm still not over the post cheer depression a year later, so I headed over to Gainesville, home of Florida High School Athletic Association's cheerleading states competition, a few weeks ago for the big event. I have been attending this event since 2011, years before I competed for the first time, but this time it was so different... this is the first time I have attended as a former competitor and alumni. Even though I have gone to, now nine, states competitions, I clearly only competed in four throughout my time in high school. I was fortunate enough to place 3rd freshman year, 4th sophomore year, and then take home two state championships my final two years. I left my cheer career on such a high note, but it is so hard to let such a big part of your life go completely. So, for those of you that know the feeling, with any sport really, you'll understand where I'm going with this.

As I entered the O'Connell center, the atmosphere was different. I had no butterflies, my hair wasn't slicked back in a perfect pony, and I didn't have my backpack... which is arguably almost bigger than me. I was also with my mom, not with my team. That was honestly the weirdest part and I think everyone can agree. After you walk away from a sport and you go back to watch your old team, it is weird not being right there with them every step of the way. As the girls got their "five minutes until warm-ups" warning, I did not feel anxious like I used to. I would not be going to warm-ups with them so why would I be? However, the nervous feeling did come on as they went to compete.

Seeing the girls take the floor was obviously a little less nerve-wracking than it was when you were getting ready to do the routine yourself, but I still had those little butterflies as I watched girls I'd been cheering with for years set up the beginning of their performance on those blue mats- without me. It was surreal being the cheer mom, yelling and screaming motivational feats at them, but I of course had to chime in during their cheer. Seeing them do so well and bring home another state championship was so humbling, but from the outside looking in... I wish I could be right there with them.

Anyone can attest to the fact that being a senior is such a fun time, but when graduation is finally over and done with... what do you do then? Every normal routine you've ever had needs to be restarted. No more daily practice, no more seven-hour school days, no more doing the high school things that you loved and made you who you are. So, therefore, high school students- especially seniors, MAKE THE MOST OF WHATEVER TIME YOU HAVE LEFT. You may really wanna skip that basketball game because you had a long day, but how many of those are left for you to go and watch your friends play? Practice may sound like a bummer and this season may just be super long, but how many games or competitions do you have left to compete in? Trust me when I say make sure you take advantage of everything high school has to offer because before you know it you will be an alum cheering on your alma mater from the stands... wishing you were still right there competing with them.