I am flawed, and those flaws always seem to creep up on me without any warning. I’ve always been unable to separate my accomplishments from others. Meaning, when I reach a milestone or reach a goal, I can’t bring myself to be happy. I always compare myself to others. The accomplishments and hard work I put into a project, a presentation, etc. is never good enough.

I’ve always struggled with this difficult task of separating myself from others. I’ve always been more of a follower than a leader and for a while, that was okay. But I’ve come to realize that my complicity with always being a follower and not finding the courage to question or challenge the “leaders” opinion in a constructive way, may be a reason behind my inability to find happiness in my own work and accomplishments. So, I’ve begun to step out. Step out of this following crowd and begin to take a path less traveled, and laid out before me by the one who guides me through my accomplishments.

I’ve grown this year, and I’ve come away from this semester with an understanding. The understanding that my greatest flaw is comparing myself to others and my biggest fear being the idea of never being good enough. As I’ve come to understand and accept this flaw, I’ve also realized I may not be able to change who I am, but I can change my mindset. I can turn to the one who knows my goals, dreams, and accomplishments before I can even imagine them. So, when I turn back towards the crowd and define myself as not good enough because of others around me, I must stop myself and turn my eyes, heart, and mind back towards the one who never questions the beauty of His people.

I may be flawed, broken, and unable to always see my accomplishments as success, but I do serve a God who will wrap me in His presence and remind me that I will always be good enough.