Those who work retail, food service, or just about any other job involving interaction with human beings can tell you: people are the worst. I'd like to think in my hopeful ignorance that really, it's just a matter of thoughtlessness that causes people to do the things they do. If that's the case and they don't really know the horrendously annoying or rude things they're doing, I'm here to help. Here's my "common courtesy" item list for making the world a more decent place.
1. Don't leave things for other people to take care of because "it's their job."
This involves a great number of things. Do not leave shopping carts all over the parking lot: they will get loose and hit someone's car. Plus, some poor grocery store employee is going to have to high tail it all over the place (probably in some kind of extreme weather) collecting what someone else was too lazy to put away.
Do not leave trash or food on the floor because somebody else will take care of it.
Do not put things in the wrong place in the grocery store, especially perishables, because it's somebody's job to put that stuff back.
Do not let that piece of clothing slip off the hanger and onto the floor and just walk away.
2. Look at people in the eyes when you're talking to them.
Especially when speaking with people who are in service positions, such as check out at the store, don't look down at your money or out the window stonily or scan your eyes over this person's apparel. I know interacting with people is hard sometimes, really I do, but taking the hot second to make eye contact with the human being who is behind the counter and wants to be there less than everyone else does can make a big difference. Also, by not acknowledging them as a human being, you may inadvertently cause them to feel like less of a person.
When speaking to friends, put the phone down. What says "I don't care enough about what you're saying" more than looking down and texting or scrolling through social media while someone who is expecting (like they are within their rights to do) to be acknowledged is speaking.
3. Don't share your music, Vine, Youtube or Snapchat audio with the world.
I don't really know where this trend came from of playing music while walking around in public and playing videos without headphones at restaurants or in the library, but it's got to stop. Everyone is more than welcome to enjoy that medium with earphones whenever and wherever he or she would like to, really, but be considerate. Not everybody likes to listen to whatever type of music is being carelessly blasted into the ears of the passerby, especially when the recipient of this music-blasting is in a safe setting with family or trying to get something done.
4. Similarly, don't play your music loudly through neighborhoods.
Be mindful of the "where" and "what" of your actions. Especially past a certain time of day, it's inconsiderate and rude not to take the moment to turn the music down while passing by places where people are enjoying their time at home and perhaps sleeping. It will take just a minute to get out of earreach of residencies, so just turn it down.
5. Do not smoke in places where people can't escape.
I can't count how many times I've been at a drive-through or stuck in traffic and someone lights up a cigarette, subjecting me to something I don't enjoy and perhaps hate a little bit. Many, many people have smoke allergies, asthma, or just plain don't like it, and not being considerate of the people around and having respect for them is a breach of conduct towards humanity.
6. Do not speed through areas where people are often walking.
This shows an honest disregard for human life. Seems harsh, but I mean it. It's impossible to get those seconds back that it takes to accidentally hit a pedestrian because of going too fast and someone, either the driver or pedestrian, wasn't paying attention. If I'm walking around campus at school and somebody speeds at 45 or 50 through a school zone, I'm automatically angry about it. It's selfish. Slow down and wait until the area has been passed.
7. Don't touch people without their permission or the proper amount of intimacy.
This weird culture of forcing hugs with total strangers upon small children, or even upon ourselves is an issue. It's easier to know when in an intimate relationship when it may be okay to touch someone without their permission, but don't get hurt feelings if they (kindly) express that they don't want that at the moment. Especially don't get offended if a stranger doesn't take too kindly to unsolicited touching.
8. Come into conversation and interaction with others acting with awareness of your biases.
Bias comes out in all kinds of different ways. Making assumptions about a person based on age, sex (gender and sex life included), body size, family life, education, work history, incarceration history, sexual preference, religious practices, and race is perpetuating a problem, no matter how unintentionally it's done.
Be aware of what is said. No need to tip-toe around issues that might be upsetting, but don't say things that will likely adhere to a stereotype or a sore spot for any group or type of person. If in fact, if something is said that may be hurtful, don't be afraid to apologize. Covering the damage done by an unthinking comment is better than letting it sit.
Some examples of things not to say:
"Oh, you're working? I thought you just had kids."
"So are you the man or woman in the relationship?"
"Since you're a Christian, explain to me ______" (Fill in the blank with every religiously associated atrocity ever committed).
"You're Islamic, explain to me why terrorists adopt your religious text and still think it's okay to kill people." Never, ever, ever go anywhere near here.
"How's your diet going? Have you been to the gym today? How much weight have you lost?" If not an accountability partner or good friend, leave topics of weight and body image out of the conversation.
"I bet it's harder for you now that you're out--not getting three meals a day and a roof over your head no matter what."
"You don't want to have kids? You'll change your mind."
"Your family looks so happy, I wish my family got along like that."
"Couldn't have kids? Well, adoption is always an option!"
"Oh, you didn't go to college? Well, what are you going to do with your life? Flipping burgers gets really old."
I hope my list has been helpful. This should get the world back on track to being a more considerate place, right?
