Love is awesome. I mean, really, there’s nothing better than having someone by your side to get you through your worst days and celebrate your best ones. It’s all of the good things we are promised in life rolled into one amazing, heart-shaped ball. It’s so easy to become comfortable in this little ball of affection, laughs, smooches and friendship. But there’s a certain amount of "comfortable" that can often become toxic to our individuality. So often, especially in younger couples, girls and guys both lose sight of what it means to be an individual first and a lover second.

Time and time again, I have had friends who committed their entire lives as an individual to another person. Time and time again, it didn’t work out. They’re left feeling alone, broken and lost, without any idea as to how to overcome their pain. It’s heartbreaking to watch someone you care about sulk in their misery, but it's even more heartbreaking to watch someone lose themselves in a relationship with another person. I’ve watched as friends would allow their boyfriends or girlfriends to control every aspect of their lives without question. It’s happened to me, too. More likely than not, it’s happened to all of us. Since when did loving someone mean that we have to revolve our entire lives around them?

Your dreams and ambitions should always come first. Yes, of course, you want to support those of your significant other’s, but what you want out of life should be a priority. If there’s one thing that I have taken away from my own past relationships and that of my closest friends, it’s to never base my future on the plans of someone else. There’s nothing wrong with hoping things go in a similar direction or follow a parallel path, but don’t pass up opportunities because those roads lead to different places. Think of it this way: are they willing to give up their dreams for you? Would you want them to? Love is not selfish or suffocating. It’s supportive and free of restraints. Trust me, if it’s meant to be, it will be.

He/she will understand if you want to hang out with your friends a couple nights a week. Don’t feel like you need to spend every waking hour of the week together in order to keep the fire alive. If it’s a healthy relationship, it allows room for friendships. She needs the support of her friends, and sometimes he just wants to be with the boys for a night. It’s natural and doesn’t mean that they are thinking about ending things. Relax. A little time away from each other allows you to miss each other; an aspect in a relationship that often gets overlooked. Spending time apart allows for a couple to appreciate the time while being together that much more.

Be financially capable... especially if you’re young. I learned this from my mom. While my parents are happily married, my mom tells me that if, God forbid, something happened to my dad, she would be able to take care of herself (and vice versa). Never depend on a significant other for financial means. Be able to support yourself. There’s a sense of individual accomplishment in this. Girls, be able to pay for dinner or a movie every once in a while. It shows him that you’re independent and don’t always need to rely on his dime. This goes for guys as well. Make your own way. Relying on someone else for financial stability is a recipe for disaster if things go south.

Most importantly, stay true to who you are as a human being. Never change for someone. Someone that loves you will appreciate who you are and would never try to change your values or your morals. Allowing someone to dictate your decisions, what you love to do, what you wear or who you surround yourself with is toxic. It never ends well. It’s demeaning and unhealthy, and you are so much stronger than the destructive opinions of someone who is supposed to care for you. Who you are as a person should be something that no one can ever take away from you. Know yourself, and you’ll be a better partner for the right person. Love should never be manipulative. It’s accepting.

Seriously, love is wonderful. There is something to be said about being a passionate and committed lover. But there is something even better to be said about being a committed individual. Support your partner, but support yourself. Love them, but love yourself first. Appreciate them and care for them, but understand your self-worth. To experience an amazing relationship filled with happiness and adoration, you must first understand how to be content as an individual human being. You are amazing in your own right, and someone worthwhile will realize that as much as you do.