On June 27th, 2016, I did the scariest thing I’ve ever had to do. I came out to the whole world, all at once, right here through The Odyssey. I remember writing the article, deleting the whole thing, and starting again six or seven times. I had wrestled with the idea of coming out for years, but never really seriously considered it until I left high school. But then when the Orlando shooting happened, I couldn’t sit around quietly anymore. I tried to write my article with a happy tone, or a humorous one, or a serious one, just to try and get the most positive reaction that I could. But I couldn’t write a happy, funny, or serious article. I was pissed. I was angry that we still live in a world where I could get denied rights, safety, and lose my life based on who I love. And I was tired of running from that hate, so I decided it was time to face it.
So I came out.
I was terrified, but I knew it was time for me to do it. I couldn’t pretend to be something I wasn’t indefinitely. I was lying to my friends and family. I had to keep whole relationships a secret. Coming out was the only way to change all of that, no matter how scary it was.
I wish I could say that all of the reactions I got were positive and supportive, but that wouldn’t be the truth. I got my fair share of nasty comments, angry messages, and unsupportive responses. It was hard to handle at times. I’ve had people tell me I’m going to Hell and more than my fair share of dirty looks and whispers behind my back. I’ve had punches thrown at me and been spit at for holding a guy’s hand in public. I spent the first 19 years of my life as a white, middle-class male pretending to be straight. I had never faced discrimination. Then all of the sudden, I had become a topic of discussion and debate. I was controversial. I was different. I was wrong and unnatural. The fact that some people in the world would rather see me gone than with a man became very real to me, very quickly.
It’s really easy to get caught up in the hate and discrimination. It’s insanely difficult to accept the fact that people in the world hate you because of something you can’t control. But the thing that makes it easier is knowing that there are millions of the people who stand behind you, support you, and respect your sexuality. While I did have some bad reactions to my coming out, the overall response was largely supportive. All of my closest friends and immediate family were nothing but nice about it. I received support from people I know and people I don’t. For every negative comment, there were ten positive ones.
I learned that I’m going to face a lot of hate and discrimination. My sexuality will be the topic of political, religious, and social debates for years to come. It’s going to be hard, but I’m not in this alone. I am not wrong, broken, or unnatural. I am me, and that’s exactly who I should be.
So, what now? Now I get to enjoy my life without hiding a huge part of who I am. I can date who I want, when I want, where I want. I get to speak out for LGBT+ rights, push for equality, and support anyone else who is going through what I went through. I can honestly say that this is the happiest I’ve ever been. Sure, coming out was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I would never go back.