In leaving high school to go to college, it is easy to be overwhelmed, feeling like a small fish in a big pond. It is a new start and often, although we are surrounded by others and in the midst of exciting changes and experiences, we can feel extremely alone. The friends we once had in high school are miles away and we are driven to forge new friendships and live with individuals we have never met.
There is this unspoken pressure to occupy our time and surround ourselves with people, makes these moments alone all the more isolated. Often craving the close and deep friendships we possessed in high school, it is easy to believe we will not find those where we currently are.
As an extrovert, it can often appear to others that I have gotten everything figured out. I do not have a problem meeting people or holding a conversation and I derive a lot of my energy from social interaction but often I find myself searching for someone to actually talk with outside of the late-night party scene or the casual pass-bys of the day.
Past the “How are you?" and “What’s up?” throughout the day sometimes it feels like there’s nobody who really wants to spend time and get to know others. College can feel incredibly lonely. Everyone deals with loneliness in their own way but here are some ways I have seen work for aiding loneliness or at least for forgetting about it for a period of time.
1. Find something that makes you happy when you are with people and when you are alone.
If you can find something you enjoy doing or talking about with or without others around, you can find a way to occupy your time as well as have something to talk about when people ask what you’re interested in. If you can identify what makes you happy, do that thing. Find things on and or off campus that encapsulate those interests and you can meet a whole group of people who also enjoy those things! For me, it was art and illustration and through doing art on my own and sharing it with others, it has connected me to a greater web of individuals and people that share my interests (then we do art together)!
2. Keep yourself occupied.
Too often we sit and wonder what we could be doing instead of actually going out and doing it. A way to combat loneliness is to try to forget it exists. It is 100% okay to do things on your own but don’t be a hermit. There is always something happening in college if you seek it out, even if it seems like something you might not be interested in at first. Getting involved is a good proactive way to occupy yourself!
3. Keep in touch with old friends.
Feeling alone in college is a common feeling and chances are your friends from home, on some level, are experiencing the same thing. It is really good to keep connected and in touch with these friends who grew up with you and shaped who you are. They can provide an outside source of advice and are another ear to listen. They can keep you in check and most likely miss you just as much as you miss them. But although they are a good resource and safety net, do not cling only to your college friends as this can ostracize you from the people outside your dormitory doors. Make memories with people on campus and share them with your friends from home to keep in touch!
4. Change your mentality.
Your outlook is everything. In looking for the negatives or dwelling on what is going wrong, it can be difficult to remember the good things going on around you. Think about all the positives of being a college student: so much freedom, classes, people, clubs, athletics, a pretty campus, food anytime you want, etc. If you cannot seem to find something you like about college, find something. Remaining a pessimist in a time of loneliness can make times alone feel all the more desolate. In addition to changing you mentality, change your scenery. If you confine yourself to your dorm, get out and explore a new part of campus. You are never going to see new faces if you remain stagnant.
