Colorism is When by Patrick Jonathan Derilus
any of you know about colorism?
well, for one, it is racism
built deep inside my subconscious.
my self-hatred is directed,
not toward myself
necessarily,
but an involuntary self-hatred,
wrenching at my skin,
because it’s apparently
the bubonic plague.
ignorant people:
separate
my skin from my demeanor.
ignorant people:
conjoin my skin
with my intellectualism
and free thoughts.
ignorant people:
claim I’m talking “white”
when that shit’s rooted in
eugenics
with that scientifically racist logic,
a beautiful dark-skinned man
like me
In this American society,
can’t possibly be authentic.
my existence is overlooked,
if I’m not submissive to
a white racial frame:
to
see me
as a white poet in a black body,
or a stereotypically hood nigga,
motherfucker, that shit’s
obviously disquieting,
that shit’s insane.
they see dark-skinned men like me,
dismiss me
and think that shit’s a... game?
like if I’m not
showing my sensitive self,
some people
would suddenly
forget my...name.
as if I’m impossible to be loved
to love back
like I’m... not human
and I’m understating this,
but that’s a...fucking shame.
I can’t be human if I’m not a
fucking basketball player,
rapper, football player,
Or submissive merchant,
or in “better terms”,
a 9-5 retail worker,
or however else a
white person bigotedly wants to
see me.
like, dark-skinned men like me are
condemned if they’re philosophers
non-academic or academic
Black physicians, Black scientists,
Black neuropsychologists,
Black creative writers,
Black painters,
Black gods
because
we’re all enslaved by
white authority:
white skin, blue eyes,
white hegemony
white assimilation,
and a farfetched,
*ahem*
white-washed foundation;—
here, right in front of us!
Colorism is when a
dark skinned Black man
makes small talk with a
light skinned
Black man
and that
light skinned
Black man reciprocates with contempt, and,
immediate hostility.
that
light skinned
Black man gapes at him
with scornful eyes
that
light skinned
Black man
wishes of
his death
that
light skinned
Black man
has high hopes that
he dies
that
light skinned
Black man
loathes his existence
as if his existence was
an exaggerated myth, a lie.
Colorism is...when
all these
dating sites like
OkCupid
and
PlentyOfFish
have racist predilections,
subliminal racist and colorist agendas,
we unconsciously favor white people
cause we don’t like us, we...like them?
and lighter skinned people of color
cause they resemble white people
like them!
no, you don’t even see me;
shit, you don’t
see us.
see us
and treat us
how you want to
dehumanize our existences
to
see us
just because
I don’t have tattoos,
or five gold chains
laying on my chest
you’re frightened by me,
like... who would’ve guessed?
