Okay first things first, can I have all the morning people raise their hands? Nice and high. Okay now everyone with a hand in the air I just want you to know that you mystify me, I don’t know how you do what you do, but I suspect it’s not natural. Human beings should not be awake before nine o’clock, excluding extenuating circumstances, (Christmas morning; the apocalypse). And no matter what you absolutely should not be happy about it. So people like my roommate who lies in bed laughing and watching videos at 7 in the morning are clearly undomesticated hoodlums who have no place in proper American society.

So when I see you chipper folks, strolling around campus at 7:30 in the morning with a smile on your face and a pep in your step I genuinely question your sanity.

For the rest of humanity, mornings are death. I am a member of the general population that believes that any side of the bed is the wrong side of the bed before 8:30 and when my feet hit the floor it is with the sluggish zombified determination to make it to the coffee pot before I have to interact with anything that requires more brain functions than that of our Neolithic brethren.

So now that you understand the depth of my hatred for mornings I want to explain the pros and cons of not being a morning person when you are going to college and living on campus.

PROS:

• While in college midnight deadlines are common and when you’re already inclined to stay up late and wake up late you have the upper hand when you need to pound out an assignment last minute.
• Schedules are so varied that finding time to meet with friends, study groups, and teams for class projects can be difficult, but when you’re a night owl you have so much more opportunity to get together without the complications of classes and meetings during the day.
• College towns are tailored for late night living and if you check the closest billboard you’ll find plenty of really interesting activities and programs that fall into the ideal timeslot for you!
• You can more or less customize your schedule in advance in order to best fit your ideal sleep cycle.

CONS:

• Sometimes 8 a.m. classes are unavoidable because you need a course for your major and it has a locked time slot. I am in the middle of a required course that takes place every Monday Wednesday and Friday at 8 a.m. and I don’t know if I’ll make it to finals week with my big girl pants on without a permanent caffeine drip.
• In most dining halls breakfast is a limited time deal, so be there or be a very hungry square. And during college when you achieve the extra special trifecta of becoming mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted all at the same time, you really need a good comfort breakfast to bring you back to reality.
• For those of us late risers who happen to be introverts the best time to get things done without having to socialize is early morning, so when you sleep in you lose those precious moments of silence that are so hard to come by at college.
• No matter how much sleep you get, when you roll over to get up for class you are already fantasizing about putting your batman pajamas back on and diving back into the warm and welcoming embrace of your sheets.

So to the morning people who I may cross paths with on my way to or from my 8 a.m. I assure you that I’m not really as bitter and vicious as I look. Please don’t judge me and my cohort to cruelly, we’re just tired. And to my fellow late risers, I hear your silent cries of anguish as you trudge to class in your sweatpants, and I promise you, you are not alone. But let’s be honest, you probably wish you were.