I look and seem like your average college girl. I am in a sorority, live on my own, go to class, go out and accomplish everything you would believe a college student to do, but while I may seem happy on the outside, why am I actually dying on the inside?
College is supposed to be a time for finding yourself and having the best time of your life. You should participate in clubs, get involved with an organization, do what you are passionate about, but that is not always the case for everyone. I am involved in so much and have so much going for myself, but for some reason, it just does not make me happy.
I am finishing up my junior year of college at Cleveland State and I graduate in a year. I now have to start thinking about the future and dealing with the overwhelming questions of, “What do you want to do when you are older?” “Do you have any idea where you want to work?” “How far in debt are you?” which are the kind of questions that stress out any college student.
I realize now these are questions I actually have to have an answer for now.
The apparent primary reason for going to college is to get that degree, but people do not realize how much more goes into it. You have to deal with managing a social life, and heaven forbid if you can not go out one night how much backlash you will get from your friends for “Missing the best party ever!” when they said the last party they went to was the best party ever.
Anyways, not even just managing a social life, but having to make sure you have time to workout to make sure you try to get that “spring break body” when in reality, you know you will work out for an hour then go indulge yourself in a tub of ice cream, but maybe that's just me.
Caffeine is the only thing that will get a college student through college. Do you have an exam tomorrow? Drink a ton of caffeine. You did an all-nighter last night? Drink a ton of caffeine. It is outrageous how a drug like caffeine can assist you so much throughout college.
Now all this may not seem like it really adds to what I want to talk about, but it does. I always give off the perception of being this happy, go lucky girl but that is all just a facade. I am actually slowly dying on the inside from all this stress that college has given me. I only have one year left, and I hope it all becomes less stressful post-graduation life. I am ready to move on and close this chapter of my life, but with still one year left it is going to be a struggle to push through.
Yes, most of these factors have influenced my life at one point or another, and have caused me the emotional baggage I carry with myself today, but you know what? I am going to make it through. I am going to complete my degree, get a job I want (hopefully), and just know it all gets better, and college is just four years.
