Senioritis.

Something we all have heard before. Something we thought was over as soon as we graduated high school.

Well it’s not.

Being a college senior this year, I am here to tell you that it does not end.

It’s back.

As a senior in college, I find myself un-enthused when it comes to having school pride. I see all the incoming freshmen posting photo announcements and I want to feel happy for them and feel the excitement for them for starting a new chapter, but I can’t.

I see everyone making plans and coordinating dorm room décor and themes. It’s all just an inconvenience now; I have to get rid of it in a few short months anyway.

I remember the excitement of coming home and coming back to school after every break. Now, it going back and forth feels like an inconvenience “I have to travel AGAIN?”

I remember finally feeling relieved when you commit to a college, but now the anxiety and uncertainty is back again when searching for a grad school or a job to commit to. After you’ve come to terms with loans and financial aide, the burden presents itself again when you’re looking to continue your education. Yes, it ends, the anxiety and the uncertainty, but it comes back and takes its place with something else.

I had a great college experience, looing back I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve had plenty of friends, been involved in plenty of things, traveled to incredible places, and gone to a ton of school events. But now, I’m ready to close it and start a new chapter; work, grad school, whatever it may be.

As a senior I’ve noticed the difference between the brand new freshmen and me. Yeah, the freshmen are typically confused and I know my way around, but besides that, they look way younger. You know it’s almost time to graduate when the freshmen look way younger than you! Spending 3+ years in college, college becomes your identity. “What school do you go to?” and “What’s your major?” become part of who you are in college; it is hard to accept a new identity as a grad student or worker. College is a fun, great place where you spend constant time with your friends, try new things, and make your own decisions, but once you’ve done it a few times, once you do it every year, it’s a little less exciting. I love being surrounded by my friends and quite honestly, I enjoy a lot of my classes but college is something you begin to outgrow.

Your college years are some of the best in your life. You grow as a person from an awkward freshman to a partial functioning adult. I’m going to enjoy and embrace these last years in college instead of stressing over the uncertainty of the future.