The day of my freshman move in, I packed up my tiny Ford Focus, kissed my parents goodbye, and then sped out of my neighborhood without looking back. I had spent all summer anticipating my classes, my roommates, and my newly gained individuality. And even though I found it quite sad that I could fit my entire life in the trunk of a car, I had a mass of potential energy driving me forward.
As the semester began, I was taking advantage of my new freedoms. I never had to tell someone where I was going, I could allow the mess in my room to grow at immense speeds, and I always had my personal space. All of my wishes were coming true. But on a rather stressful day in November, after spending four hours flipping text book pages in the library, I had a realization. I missed my parents, and I missed them a lot. School had become a place of hard work and incessant stress. Yes, no one was around to tell me to clean my dish or do my homework. But, no one was there to tell me that I would be okay either. I wanted to hear the nagging and the pestering again because it was a symbol of the loving, worry-free setting of home.
College is a rich learning environment that provides you with a constant supply of resources and motivation. However, allowing yourself to be successful requires the right mindset. Not just anyone can get through lectures, studying, exam dates, labs, extra curricular activities, all while keeping up with mental and physical health. It is an intellectual endurance that gets you through a demanding college schedule. At times you can feel like you're on top of the world. And then at other times, you can find yourself drugged with caffeine and sitting in a pile of meaningless flashcards and notebooks. When all of that is over, and you have triumphantly made it through another semester, you are able to return home. And then you realize what "home" really means.
The first time I gave my dad a hug after the break, I was filled with a familiar happiness. When I stepped back, I noticed that the generous man that I knew so well looked different. Maybe his smile seemed to have multiplied and a few more grey hairs were sticking out under his UD baseball cap. Though in reality his appearance hadn't changed much at all, I saw him in a whole new light. He was a symbol of refuge, love, and familiarity. I no longer wanted to push him away. He had gone from curfew keeper, to a wise father.
Once I got past the excitement of being home, I began to notice a difference in the relationship I had with my parents. When my dad wanted to share some advice, I would be taking notes instead of rolling my eyes. He transformed into this ceaseless resource for knowledge that I was just now discovering. Because he was no longer enforcing common household rules, he was less of a babysitter and more like a mentor. I wanted to sit down and talk to him for hours, absorbing all of the knowledge he had. I recognized that because I survived the merciless demands of college, he had somehow raised me right. It would be insulting to him to ignore the values and beliefs that lead him to do so. It seemed as though I was learning more valuable information from my dad than I would in any college course.
A more obvious perk of being back home with my parents was that I was no longer dirt poor. The first night that my mother handed our waiter her credit card without discussion was pretty amazing. I also came home to discover a pantry filled to the brim. All I had to do was open it up and all my favorite snacks were at my fingertips. No more grocery store walks, no more off-brands, and no more calculating prices to see if I had enough money. It was almost like magic. However, along with the new sense of freedom came a slight sense of obligation. I felt bad when dinner appeared too expensive or when my mom offered to buy me a pair of jeans. But they would never complain. They wanted to spend that money. I had two people that were there to help whenever they could and I couldn't begin to explain how grateful I was for that.
My dad often says that college is the best time of your life. And, classes and studying aside, he is absolutely right. It is the time for finding yourself, celebrating adolescence, and enjoying freedom from real-world responsibilities. But through all of this adventure, it can be easy to forget who got you there in the first place.
The day of move in this semester, I packed up my tiny Ford Focus, kissed my parents goodbye, and left my neighborhood with a heavy heart. Instead of leaving the two people who had put an enormous amount of limits on my life, I was leaving the two people who love me the most. As I move throughout the daily struggles of a college student, I think about the sacrifices they made to allow me to attend University. And when times are particularly tough, I remember how just a quick phone call home can make everything seem better. Though parents come in many different shapes and sizes, they are the one thing that ties us to home.
