Dear God,

You're probably not used me to saying that. I apologize for thinking my life is too crazy that I don't even have five minutes out of my day to talk to you. I apologize for not reaching out to you or thanking you every day because I should be. I know you work hard, so hard for me and everyone around me, and no matter what my excuse be, I know I should thank you.

Thank you, God, for putting beauty in my life.

For blessing me with beautiful friends both inside and out. Thank you for creating my beautiful family who shows me endless love, like angels who share the work ethic you do to take care of me, and who have shaped me into being a mixture of their beautiful qualities, and making me be the best me there is. Thank you for filling me with a place to live that radiates beauty made completely out of your hands. I don't mean my house, I mean my world. From the greenest crisp grass in the summertime to the clearest and bluest salty oceans and the skylines that look like paintings, a different one every morning and night. And for all the beautiful sounds in a world that would be silent without them, like the birds chirping when I wake up a little bit earlier than usual on summer mornings or the sound of waves crashing that could put me to sleep. The sound of a baby's contagious laugh from playing peekaboo, or when someone I love says “I love you too." All are a part of your beautiful work, thank you.

Thank you for always having a plan for me.

I'm not always sure what is best for me or what great things I need to accomplish to get to where I need to be in life. As much as I hate to admit it, I struggle. Sometimes I don't think anything I am doing will ever benefit me and I question myself, “Why are you doing this?" or “Why does this have to happen to me?" They're all fair questions, but I know they're not the right ones. I know you don't want me to question you, but sometimes I'm not a believer in “God always has a plan." I know you have created the best plan for me but sometimes it truly is hard to see when I'm stuck in the moment. So, I am sorry for questioning you, and for making you think I don't believe in you and doubting the things I am doing and blaming my wrong decisions on you. I do believe that no matter what decisions I make you will help guide me, and I know there are no completely wrong decisions because you have helped place the right, and even the wrong decisions in my life. You might do this to make me learn or to guide me to what's next. I appreciate all of your cues you give me in my life plan.

Thank you for giving me options

I know you have a plan for me and I may not always follow it, but you let me wander and allow me to doubt you as much as I want because you want me to have a say in what I do in life. Thank you for letting me be a series of things, and things I want to be. You ultimately let me chose who I am and who I spend my time with and share my love with. I am only able to do that with your love and support even on my silly decisions that you would say “I told you so" to. Thank you for allowing me to chose who I am, not for giving me a skin tone or an accent or a gender or a race but everything above it, for allowing me to chose how I embrace those things and chose how to share them with others. Thank you for allowing me to explore the wonders of the world and the people good or bad, because I know you might cringe at how I interact with the people that won't benefit me in life, but you let me follow through because you know one day I'll see what's best for me. Thank you for letting me choose the places I go, and what I get to study, and what I do in my free time, and what I eat, even though eating a tub of cookie dough isn't the best for me, you allow me to do it and maybe even applaud me for it when I've had a rough day.

Thank you for giving me good health

I know this one gets extremely taken for granted by me, but I really don't consider how good I have it when I think about my body and my mind and how strong I am. You've blessed me with the care of two loving parents and other loving family members who are healthy and willing to take care of any of my states of health. You've blessed me to be able to have my own doctor who I can visit regularly and who will take care of me. You have worked with me on everything I have struggled with mentally, like my body image and my self-concept, all of the positivity I have ever gained about myself I have learned from you. You have taught me that being a little chunky in parts of my body where I don't want to have extra chunk, is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact others might even strive to have that as one of their problems and I thank you for allowing me to see my struggles through other's eyes to know how blessed I truly am.

Thank you for taking care of the people I love up there

I'll admit I've been angry at you and thought you took a big part of me away when loved ones of mine could no longer continue life on this earth. I thought you were being selfish and taking them away from me but I know now that's not the case. The truth is I know you took them for better and unselfish reasons. Those people needed you and you let them visit you to take their pain and suffering away and make everything OK for them again. Thank you for taking care of them up there and most importantly thanks for letting them watch over me like you do. I know I have your support along with theirs each and every day even if I don't tell you, but I promise I see it. I see it every day in the multicolored sunsets while driving home. I see it every time someone wipes my tears away and tells me there are better things coming, I know it every time when I hear someone laugh an uncontrollable laughter and when tears start to form from someone feeling so incredibly happy, I know you're there I know you care, and I could never thank you enough.

Sincerely,

Someone who knows you're here