I Can't Hear God, But I See His Work All Around Me

I Can't Hear God, But I See His Work All Around Me

Everything I forget to say thank you for.

Dear God,

You're probably not used me to saying that. I apologize for thinking my life is too crazy that I don’t even have five minutes out of my day to talk to you. I apologize for not reaching out to you or thanking you every day because I should be. I know you work hard, so hard for me and everyone around me, and no matter what my excuse be, I know I should thank you.

Thank you, God, for putting beauty in my life.

For blessing me with beautiful friends both inside and out. Thank you for creating my beautiful family who shows me endless love; like angels who share the work ethic you do to take care of me, and who have shaped me into being a mixture of their beautiful qualities, and making me be the best me there is. Thank you for filling me with a place to live that radiates beauty made completely out of your hands. I don’t mean my house, I mean my world. From the greenest crisp grass in the summertime to the clearest and bluest salty oceans and the skylines that look like paintings, a different one every morning and night. And for all the beautiful sounds in a world that would be silent without them, like the birds chirping when I wake up a little bit earlier than usual on summer mornings or the sound of waves crashing that could put me to sleep. The sound of a babies contagious laugh from playing peekaboo, or when someone I love says “I love you too.” All are a part of your beautiful work, thank you.

Thank you for always having a plan for me.

I’m not always sure what is best for me or what great things I need to accomplish to get to where I need to be in life. As much as I hate to admit it, I struggle. Sometimes I don’t think anything I am doing will ever benefit me and I question myself “why are you doing this” or “why does this have to happen to me?” They’re all fair questions, but I know they’re not the right ones. I know you don’t want me to question you, but sometimes I'm not a believer in “God always has a plan.” I know you have created the best plan for me but sometimes it truly is hard to see when i’m stuck in the moment. So, I am sorry for questioning you, and for making you think I don’t believe in you and doubting the things I am doing and blaming my wrong decisions on you. I do believe that no matter what decisions I make you will help guide me, and I know there are no completely wrong decisions because you have helped place the right, and even the wrong decisions in my life. You might do this to make me learn or to guide me to what's next. I appreciate all of your cues you give me in my life plan.

Thank you for giving me options

I know you have a plan for me and I may not always follow it, but you let me wander and allow me to doubt you as much as I want because you want me to have a say in what I do in life. Thank you for letting me be a series of things, and things I want to be. You ultimately let me chose who I am and who I spend my time with and share my love with. I am only able to do that with your love and support even on my silly decisions that you would say “I told you so” to. Thank you for allowing me to chose who I am, not for giving me a skin tone or an accent or a gender or a race but everything above it, for allowing me to chose how I embrace those things and chose how to share them with others. Thank you for allowing me to explore the wonders of the world and the people good or bad, because I know you might cringe at how I interact with the people that won’t benefit me in life, but you let me follow through because you know one day I’ll see what’s best for me. Thank you for letting me choose the places I go, and what I get to study, and what I do in my free time, and what I eat, even though eating a tub of cookie dough isn’t the best for me, you allow me to do it and maybe even applaud me for it when I’ve had a rough day.

Thank you for giving me good health

I know this one gets extremely taken for granted by me, but I really don’t consider how good I have it when I think about my body and my mind and how strong I am. You’ve blessed me with the care of two loving parents and other loving family members who are healthy and willing to take care of any of my states of health. You’ve blessed me to be able to have my own doctor who I can visit regularly and who will take care of me. You have worked with me on everything I have struggled with mentally, like my body image and my self-concept, all of the positivity I have ever gained about myself I have learned from you. You have taught me that being a little chunky in parts of my body where I don’t want to have extra chunk, is nothing to be ashamed of, in fact others might even strive to have that as one of their problems and I thank you for allowing me to see my struggles through other’s eyes to know how blessed I truly am.

Thank you for taking care of the people I love up there

I’ll admit I’ve been angry at you and thought you took a big part of me away when loved ones of mine could no longer continue life on this earth. I thought you were being selfish and taking them away from me but I know now that's not the case. The truth is I know you took them for better and unselfish reasons. Those people needed you and you let them visit you to take their pain and suffering away and make everything okay for them again. Thank you for taking care of them up there and most importantly thanks for letting them watch over me like you do. I know I have your support along with theirs each and every day even if I don’t tell you, but I promise I see it. I see it every day in the multicolored sunsets while driving home. I see it every time someone wipes my tears away and tells me there are better things coming, I know it every time when I hear someone laugh an uncontrollable laugher and when tears start to form from someone feeling so incredibly happy, I know you’re there I know you care, and I could never thank you enough.

Sincerely,

Someone who know's you're here

Cover Image Credit: Mark Bosky / Unsplash

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To The Person Who Cares Too Much About What Others Think

The only life that we need to model our own after is Jesus Christ.

College is a weird time in life. You find yourself eating at random times all throughout the day and night, if you’re like me sleep isn’t your highest priority and life never seems to slow down. You come home and crash on the couch only to wake up and remember that you have work to finish and turn in before your morning classes. Just because you can’t seem to catch a break doesn’t mean there aren’t the little joys to appreciate in college.

One morning I drove to campus for my morning class and as I was driving into a spot in the garage my foot slipped off of the brake and onto the gas causing me to jolt forward and slam into the barrier wall in the garage. I managed to take a small chunk out of the garage too. I was shocked and embarrassed that I had accidentally crashed into a parking garage.

My first reaction was to look around in a panicked fashion to see if anyone had witnessed my misfortune. To my surprise, there wasn’t anyone that seemed to witness my brief brain fart. After checking my truck and finding no damage from the wall I collected my things and dusted off my pride as I walked to class quickly.

As I look back on that moment I realize that the thing that I was most concerned with was whether or not someone saw me as I made a silly little mistake that could’ve happened to anybody. I was concerned about what others would think of me if I was caught making a mistake. This is something that I think that I fall into far too often.

It’s something that our society has created in all of us. We are all called to be as perfect and stainless as possible by the examples and standards that other human beings set. We have to realize that it is going to be impossible for us to live our lives without a mistake. You are going to make mistakes and that is okay.

The only life that we need to model our own after is Jesus Christ. God made him perfect so that we have a second chance. A chance to have the relationship that we don’t deserve with a creator that continues to love even when we turn our backs to him over and over again. Do not concern yourself with what other people will think of you when you make a mistake.

Pick yourself back up and make the most of the time that you have left in that situation. If God affords you the opportunity to redeem yourself and make it right, then do it with an eagerness and passion that can only come from the lord. God will continue to love you through any circumstance even when people don’t. Rest in the arms of God and you will never be let down as he continues to lift you in your times of need and guide you in your times of doubt.

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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Counting It All Joy

Getting lost in the thrill and excitement of what is to come can be an easy trap, but finding joy in everyday life is more rewarding than you can imagine.

Wake up. Shower. Brush your teeth. Throw on clothes. Chug coffee. Go to class/ work. Come home. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

Do you ever feel as though your life is simply a process and you are just going through the same motions every day? It is so easy to concentrate on the next exciting, thrilling function to come that we wish away our everyday lives. Not long ago, I came to the realization that to live life to the fullest here in this temporary, earthly life, we must find joy in the small things that God has created.

During Christmas Break, I had no fun, exciting plans until after Christmas. So for the first week, I spent the majority of my time watching Hallmark Christmas movies and focusing on how many days until the "good part" of the break came.

Christmas rolled around, then New Years, and finally it was time for the first major part of my break, Passion Conference in Atlanta. The three weeks leading up to it, I was so anxious to go that I didn't even enjoy fully my time at home with my family and friends.

While in Atlanta, although I loved every second and made great memories, I still wished the time away too quickly. After Passion, some friends and I had plans to go to a Katy Perry concert, so while I loved Passion, I didn't savor it as much as I should have because too much of my focus was on what was coming next: the Katy Perry concert along with a weekend in New Orleans.

When it was finally concert time, my friends and I were ecstatic because the long-awaited "big moment" of Christmas break had finally come. The concert did not disappoint, but I still found myself focusing on what was to come- an endless process of what ifs and what's next.

On the way to Passion, I started reading Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. My sorority's freshman bible study chair recommended it at the beginning of the semester, but I just found the time to read it.

Shauna talks about all of the small joys we overlook in life and why it is important to remember to savor every moment of good in this world because it is what God's intention for us is. I recently finished the book, and wow, I wish I would have read it sooner. It completely changed my view and upped my appreciation for the small bits of happiness God blesses us with on His earth.

It's never too late for a New Years resolution, right? Well, my resolution is to stop waiting for the next grand event or thrilling adventure.

I want to start cherishing each small moment in every day and counting it all joy.

Whether it is a weekend beach trip with all your friends that you've been waiting on for weeks, the random walk back to your dorm with a sorority sister who spoke just the words you needed to hear, or even that moment of peace when you stand in awe of the beautiful world He has created, it's so crucial to find the nuggets of joy, love, and kindness that our loving Father created for us.


Cover Image Credit: Mackenzie Jackson

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