Two years ago, I sat with a Wake Forest “Congratulations” letter, a waitlist notification from UVA, and a “Send Your Deposit in Now” email from Carolina.
Yes, don’t get me wrong. I was sincerely thankful for the choices before me. Yet, in the back of my mind, I slightly wished for two denials and one yes, so that my indecisive self was not faced with a terribly difficult decision.
This past weekend, while hosting a prospective senior from the high school I attended two years ago, I listened and watched as she, too, battled a difficult college decision at hand.
A decision that so many believe will make or break their future.
And let me explain one thing: It won’t...trust me.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on decisions in my life and drawing lessons from them. So here are three things I wish I remembered and reminded myself during the college decision process. Take a read, and who knows? Maybe even if you’re already in college and thinking this doesn’t apply to you, it will resonate for later-life decisions.
1. Purpose Can Be Found Everywhere
I am a firm believer that purpose can be found wherever you go. It’s just about realizing this, and seeking it. I’ve always had the idea in my mind that I can make the wrong decision in everything: from what job to take, what courses to sign up for, and especially what college to attend. Yet, how incredibly false this is. Freshman year, when I was a chemistry major, I knew it wasn’t right for me. This wasn’t where I was intended to be, and especially wasn’t where I excelled. Yet, I could still find purpose there. It showed me where I placed my worth, and what I found joy in. It won’t come down to you choosing the right or wrong college. Even if you end up feeling in the wrong place or end up transferring, the people, experiences, and lessons you learn can't be traded, and that is where purpose is found.
2. Situations Can’t Be Changed, But Perspectives Can
I’ll be honest: It absolutely sucked getting that Waitlist notification from UVA. My dream for two years was suddenly put on hold. I felt as if a future I had dreamed of for so long was suddenly stolen, and it was completely out of my control. And this was true. I couldn’t change my situation. I never can and never will be able to. Something a professor of mine used to always say: “When life throws you curve balls, don’t think too hard, and swing!” -- We can’t change what life throws at us, yet we can change our perspective and how we approach it. I will never be able to change the choices given to me or the difficult times that come, yet I am able to change how I see them: And that, I promise you people, is a priceless tool we must take advantage of. So, for all you high school seniors, or even college seniors with decisions ahead: You can’t change your options. But you can change how you view them.
3. Don’t Get Lost in the Future
This is the final short piece of advice I sincerely wish I could have reminded myself when making the college decision: to stay in the present. So often, when we become wrapped up in the decisions in front of us, we lose sight of the present moment. Our minds, our thoughts, and our actions are all centered on the time in front of us. And in reality, all we are given is the present time. You’re given today, and today only. So, quit planning for the future. And plan for the present time before you. Love others well, listen, laugh, and enjoy the time you’re in, and quit worrying so much for the time to come.
Short, and sweet… But true. It isn’t just high school seniors-- we all have future decisions to make every single day. We can’t run away from them (well, we can… but that won’t work out too well), and we can’t change them. Yet, we can change how we view them.
View these decisions as fleeting. A decision will not make or break your happiness and future. And whatever you do, realize purpose is found wherever you go, and it all comes down to seeking it. And most importantly--
Wherever you are, be all there.
Because one day you’ll look back missing the moment you never stopped to enjoy.
