As an 18-year-old, I was excited for college. I was excited to see the world in a new light, and I was excited to for a little more freedom. I was always the girl that hated change, but I was ready for the adventure of college.
I gave it a few weeks, but community college just wasn’t cutting it. I thought transferring to a four-year college would change my luck. I was trying my best to step outside of my comfort zone, but nothing I seemed to do felt right. No one was open to making new friends the second semester of freshman year.
So, my journey continued, as I started my third college in as many semesters, just trying to find a fit. I was lucky that my third time really was the charm. But it still didn’t change me, at least not in the way you see in movies. I’m still that shy, rule-following homebody that I was in high school.
I wanted so desperately for college to change me. I wanted to be the outgoing girl that was involved in everything, the one that didn’t care about the rules [if she didn’t get in trouble]. I wanted to find that [big] group of friends that would stick by me forever. But unfortunately, that isn’t the case.
I’m still the shy girl that follows every rule in the book, the one that would rather be home with family than out with friends. But after three years of college, I’m starting to learn that’s it’s okay if college doesn’t change you in the ways you thought it would.
Now, yes, in ways all of this did change. I found friends that I can rely on, I learned that some rules are, in fact, meant to be broken, and I learned that sometimes shyness is okay, as long as you learn when to speak out for yourself.
College did change me in ways I didn’t expect, though. I learned that I’m tougher than anything life can throw at me. I learned that sometimes being alone is okay. And I’m finding my strength, strength I didn’t know I had. I’m learning that maybe, just maybe, the girl I was in high school is good enough to take the world by storm.
I’m strong, sassy, stubborn, and shy, but I’m comfortable with who I am, and at the end of the day, that’s all that really matters.
College didn’t need to change me, it just taught me that I am enough, and that’s good enough for me.
