Finding your bridesmaids in college.

I Don’t Pay 60K A Year To Find My Husband— That Investment Is To Find My Bridesmaids

Having a strong girl gang trumps anything "Brad" or "Chad" can offer.

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Ever since I can remember, I have dreamed of falling in love with the perfect man. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Determined. In middle school, I even had a Pinterest board named "The Day I Say I Do" that had hundreds of pins of wedding dresses, decor for the venue and reception, engagement rings, and only God knows what else. My favorite movies were things like "The Notebook" and "The Last Song." I was a true hopeless romantic. Little did my sweet (and hopeful) young self know, that "perfect" Prince Charming I yearned for was extremely hard to find. In addition, Prince Charming, if he even existed for me, was not interested in me at this age.

Disclaimer: I am not saying true love does not exist.

My parents were high school sweethearts and I 100% percent look to them as the ultimate "power couple." But, for me, that didn't work out.

I soon found that all the time and energy I put into trying to be "good enough" for some stupid boy, I could be putting into myself. The tears I wasted and heartache I suffered were all for what? I decided for myself that I am not an option. My self worth is not and will never be defined by the opinion of someone else, especially not some guy that I found "cute."

I started doing things that made me truly happy. I've always been extroverted, so hanging out with friends more often energized me and was refreshing for my soul. I worried less about how I looked and more about how I felt and how I was making others around me feel.

I truly believe now that finding good friends in college is absolutely a priority compared to looking for someone to marry. Who's going to go with you to get your nails done? Who will give you an honest opinion of the eleven different screenshots of discounted dresses that you want to order for the next date party that is actually in just a few days so you need them to reply immediately? Who will help you stick to (or cheat) your spring break diet? Who is going to fix your eyeliner after you've screwed it up five times? Who will let you raid their closet, try on every outfit, just to put on what you originally had on? Answer: your girls.

I could not be more thankful for the girl's that my freshman year of college gave me. Whether it's the girls across the hall who knock on the door half past midnight to borrow the salt shaker, or the girls in chemistry class who all simultaneously write notes with colored pens, or the girls I know have my back any day of the week, no matter what and no matter where.

After all, I'm willing to wait on God's timing for the perfect guy for me, considering if that is in his plan for me. In the meantime, however, I'll hang with my girls.

I refuse to surrender my sovereignty and settle for anything less than what I deserve. Plus, if "girls just wanna have fun" that sounds a whole lot better to me than stressing over trying to get someone in the male species to like me.

...Maybe I'll look for my husband in graduate school.

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To The Girl Who Always Feels Left Out

Maybe next time...
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To the girl who always feels left out,

Girl, let me just tell you, I know the feeling. It feels as though my whole life, I have been that girl. You know that feeling when you are standing in a group of people and someone comes up and asks everyone to go to lunch in that group... But you?

Or they make it even worse by saying "Oh, I guess you can come too." You guess I can come to?

No, thank you.

At that point, you feel like the only reason you are being invited is that they feel like they have to. Which more than likely is actually the case. What about when you ask your friend to hang out and she can't because she will be doing homework all night? However, an hour later, you see her with your other best friend. Oh okay cool, sorry for bothering you with my friendship.

You know you are the girl who is always left out when you are the designated "photographer" or you have to specifically ask if you can take a picture with them because they are obviously done taking pictures and did not want one with you.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who 'Float' Between Friend Groups

We all know "Hey, will you take this picture of us?" all too well. Am I right, ladies? Oh yeah, it is fine. I hate being in pictures. I definitely hate taking pictures to remember this wonderful time I'm having.

What about when you and your friends discuss doing something later during the week and you ask about it but "It's probably not happening anymore." Then you check and would you look at that, your "friends" are having fun without you.

Shocker.

Oh but don't worry about it, I had things to do anyway. You know, clean the house, work on homework that is due next week, binge-watch The Office for the third time this week. Fun stuff. Oh and better yet when you see your friends are hanging out without you. The next time they see you, they talk about how much fun they had.

Oh yes, please tell me about how much fun you had without me. I totally enjoy hearing about how "I totally missed out" and "I should have come." Well, an invite would have been well appreciated. But maybe next time, right? Wrong.


Yeah, I know what you are thinking, "Wow this girl is being so petty." Well if you are thinking that, then you obviously do not know the feeling. And to think about it, you probably are not the one in the friend group who is being left out. So think about who that person is and make them feel included next time. It would be greatly appreciated. You do not know how much of a difference it could make.

Yes, I know everyone feels left out sometimes, but time after time, it starts to get really old. Then after you have to start inviting yourself to hang out with people, you realize well since they are not inviting me themselves, maybe they don't want me here. And then surprisingly, you stop hanging out with them. Hmmm, I wonder what could've possibly happened.


Yes, I know, most people do not do this on purpose. I am sure I have even done it once or twice without realizing it, and I am truly sorry.

From one left out girl to another,

Good Luck

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I'm Scared To Ask Boys To Hang Out Because Society Has Led Me To Believe That I'll Seem Desperate

Ladies, would you ask a man out?

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Let's get this all out, I'm an anxious person. I suffer from "slight" anxiety, I wouldn't say it's horrible, but I deal with it. Nerves, it's something I'm quite familiar with in life, nerves and I are friends, actually. I've dealt with "slight" anxiety for years and it has stopped me from doing many things, which I regret. My "slight" anxiety has reappeared once again in the situation involving the male gender.

I'm not going to act as I've never talked to boys before because I have and it's not the scariness things for me, but when it involves boys I like, it's a whole new situation. Once I start developing any sort of feelings for boys I like, I turn into an anxious mess. That over-thinking, can't say the right words, too scared to embarrass myself anxious mess.

Well recently, that anxious feeling mess of myself has undoubtedly come back to life in some shape or form with this one particular boy. I think it's time to dive into Aby's semi-complicated by not really complicated sort of, just being dramatic love life. So, there's this boy that I've found attractive for quite a while, it's great to admire from afar. I always knew he was there, we were friendly, and nothing really came from that until recently.

In the past month or so this boy has been giving me the most mixed signals I've ever had in my lifetime. Do you like me? Do you not? Are you flirting with me? Ae you just being friendly? I've liked many boys in my time, but I've never thought so much about what this one particular boy and what his deal is? It's been over a month and I still can't figure him or it out, so I've been thinking of doing something every girl is somewhat afraid of, asking a boy to hang out.

I know, it sounds so small and sort of dumb, but doing something like this petrifies and turns me into a nervous, anxious mess. I'll be one hundred percent honest that I want a summer fling, someone to do all those fun things together without the commitment of a boyfriend. It's the beginning of summer, which means I need to start sorting my options out right now.

Here's the issue, I want to ask him to hang out, but I'm scared to ask because I don't want to seem desperate at all. Society has led us to believe that men should be asking girls out instead of vice-versa. In all honesty, it's a bit messed up, but I've been led to believe that "guys ask girls out". So, I've always waited to be asked out because that's what society has taught me and that's what I've allowed.

Now, I'm preparing myself to ask this boy to hang out and I'm getting quite anxious, all the possibilities. What if he doesn't like me? Thinks I'm ugly? Figures out that I can't drive? Hates me? Thinks I'm annoying, oh gosh, the endless possibilities. One thing I know is that I have to try, so I'm going to be bold and ask him to hang out.

It's scary, I'm scared, but I'll never know if I don't try, which is true. Life is filled with mysteries and you won't know if you don't look, right? So, I'm going to get over my anxiety and just try, wish me luck in attempting to ask this boy to hang out.

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