If you've ever been in a relationship in college, you'll know from experience, it feels like one of the greatest things in the world. Finally, your family will stop asking why you're still single. You'll have a little extra pep in your step and you're genuinely happy. No matter how long the relationship lasts, it's some of the best times you'll experience in your nearly 20-something years of life. At this time in your life, you realize this crazy concept: you'll either break up with this person one day or you'll marry them. It's more than likely that, if you're in a happy relationship, you'll naturally hope to marry them rather than end a relationship with them. However, sometimes life doesn't go the way you planned it or the way you hoped it would go. The relationship ends and you probably feel like nothing could be worse, but thankfully you're wrong — this is actually one of the best things that will happen to you while in college.
Living on the same campus.
You see them everywhere and if you don’t see them…you see their friends.
It hurts at first. There’s no way around that unless you really never loved them. It hurts, but it doesn’t last forever. I know that sounds cliché, but it couldn’t be truer. At first, you’ll fear walking past the same people every day, the ones who are in one way or another associated with your ex. It will happen a few times before you start to feel your chin lift up and your eyes divert to the pathway ahead of you, instead of focusing on the person walking towards you. Having to face the person who broke your heart or the people who encouraged them to do so, changes you in a way you never thought possible. It gives a sense of strength and confidence. Whether you’re intending to or not, you’re facing the pain and you’re surviving it.
You find out who your friends are.
There are always those friends of your significant other who you’re confident you’d be friends with even if you broke up; you’ll find out who those friends really are. There are people who will talk about your break up or your relationship before it ended, just to have something to talk about. There will be people who take every opportunity to find out “what happened between you two." There will be the people who will pretend they didn’t see you, simply because they think it’s “code.” There will be the ones who pretend you were never a part of their life. There will be people who befriend you simply because your life is the latest gossip around campus.
Then there will be people who will go out of their way to say hi to you because they know that life is hard for you right now. There will be people who tell you how great you looked in that new outfit you wore, the ones who will tell you all the things you’ve needed to hear. There will be the friends of friends who hardly know you, who will ask how you’re doing. There will be the people who contact you on multiple occasions just to make sure that you’re doing okay and offer you plans so you’re not alone, unless you want to be. There will be the friends who will take a road-trip two hours to the Cape or 36 hours to South Carolina with you just because “it’s what you feel like you need to do right now."
You lose and gain a friend.
Losing the person you shared so much of your life with and who brought you so much happiness is heartbreaking. It’s a constant heartbreak that takes time to heal.
It might sound crazy but breaking up in college is the best thing for you. College is the place where all of your best friends are living within feet of you; there are very few times in your life where you’ll have that opportunity. If you see your ex in the dining hall, chances are your best friends are standing right behind you and are prepared to have something to say about their outfit choice or the way their hair looks just to make you laugh.
If you’re in bed looking at old pictures of you two, your best friends will be the ones to physically pick you up out of bed and force you to have a dance party with them. If you’re missing your ex's family, your friends will bring you home to theirs. If it’s been weeks or months since the break-up, and your heart is hurting for no particular reason, they’ll be there. They’re the ones who will go out with you on a Saturday night even if they have a big exam on Monday morning. They’re the ones who will celebrate your anniversary as any other day, just with a lot of extra dancing, hugs, and wine. They’re the ones who won’t let you think one bad thought about yourself. They’re the ones who will text you even if you’re in the same room, just so you have someone to talk to. They will be the ones who mend your broken heart.
Breaking up in college may seem like the worst thing in the world, but really it is the best thing. There are very few times in your life where your biggest support system is living right next door; enjoy it while it lasts and let your heart heal while you’re there.
