I love reading self-help posts and poems about how to feel better in 10 steps and what candle to buy to de-stress because it gives me the illusion that somehow all my problems can be burned away with a lavender scented candle. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for a lot of college students.

According to Healthline, 1 out of every 4 college students suffers from some form of mental illness, including depression. 44 percent of American college students report having symptoms of depression and 75 percent of college students do not seek help for mental health problems.

But what does going through college with a mental illness, such as anxiety or depression, really look like?

Some days it looks like a lot of coffee and nervous knee thumping because you are exhausted, but you are also really wired. Some days it looks like a one A.M. get everything done moment. Sometimes, instead of finishing that one thing you are completely capable of doing, you curl up under the covers and just cry until you fall asleep. It means that sometimes the anxiety keeps you up for three days straight, but yet somehow it’s managed to paralyze you to the point where you feel physically sick every time you try to get something done. It means you have to write every deadline down the moment you are given it because even if it’s on the calendar, you’ll probably forget. It means being called "lazy" and your work often being half-assed because it really is all you can manage on the days when you really don’t even want to leave your bed. It’s days of classes where you can’t pay attention to the professor long enough to understand the hour long lesson and you can't even bring yourself to care. It is excuses that can’t be used as excuses because they’re not medically relevant. Anxiety is not a valid excuse to miss class and depression is not a valid excuse to not turn in something... so you try. You keep trying and some days aren’t as hard as others, but the ones that are bad are terrible and they make you think about dropping out 20x in an hour, but you don’t. College is already hard enough without the added pressure of your own mind trying to ruin you every other hour, but yet somehow, we always figure it out.

Anxiety and depression can manifest in a lot of different ways and with varying symptoms and it is never the same in any two people. I don’t recommend anyone ever sacrificing their mental health in the pursuit of anything, including education. Depression and anxiety can have debilitating effects on one's school performance and life, but there is help available. For more information and resources, visit: www.adaa.org