Being a freshman in college is honestly a weird phase. It is a gray area in many aspects. You’re too old to be living under your parent’s roof 24/7 but not old enough to be financially on your own so you’re stuck in this gray area of so called newfound independence. But is it really independence?

As kids, we looked forward to the little gains of independence we received such as our first phone or first car, but we didn't get to experience being on our own until now. For example, in high school, I always had to let my mom know where I was and I couldn’t leave the house in an outfit she deemed inappropriate. Having similar personalities of stubbornness, every situation like this would transform into a miniature argument.

Now, 677 miles away, my parents aren’t there to question my choices. I keep in touch and they know what goes on in my day to day life, but at the end of the day it’s a lot easier to keep things you don’t want your parents to know to yourself. Not that I do a lot of stupid things I need to hide from them (for the most part, nobody’s perfect), it's just an odd transition going from everything being a discussion to getting to decide on your own. Yet, you still don’t have complete independence because for a majority of students, their parents are the ones paying for their tuition. This personally plays a role in my decisions because I don’t take the fact that my mom pays so much for me to receive a nice education very lightly, and honestly wouldn’t be here without her. It becomes this weird gray area of “should I do this or not?” For people with lenient parents, this may not be as relatable but I find it something me and some of my friends have somewhat struggled with.

For me, college has somewhat become a double life. Not because I have stuff I’m hiding, but because everything there is so separate from my life at home. I have different friends, a different schedule, and a somewhat newfound freedom. Maybe it’s because I lived in the same town my whole life with the same group of friends and I’m not particularly familiar to change, but transitioning takes longer than I thought.

So here we are, in the gray area. Halfway between the white that once was childhood bliss and the black that is the daunting reality of adulthood. A big part of college is finding your way through this gray area, but just don’t take it for granted because not everyone has this opportunity.