Whether it's 50 cent liquor at Brewskys, or Wine Wednesday at Gallette's, every college town has their weekly drink special. It's that time of the week when all angst, stress, and every other emotion of your average college student gets out on the dance floor and makes itself known. It's therapeutic really. In fact, it coincides so well with college, that it's actually almost like college -- follow me, here.
1. You don't really have the money for it, but you have to go anyway.
Student loans generally haunt college students for years after they receive their degree. And hangovers generally haunt students for hours after they leave 50 cent liquor. The point is no one says, "Oh, yeah, I have that money for four (probably five) years of an education," just like how your bank account somehow says, "you have a remaining balance of $3.12" once Thursday rolls around. Whether you can afford it, or not, you go. 'Cause everybody goes. You take out that student loan, or transfer just one more $20 out of your savings account that your mom said not to touch, and you put your party pants on.
2. It's never convenient. Like, ever.
It seems as though 50 cent liquor always falls on the eve of something important. But you do it, anyways. Much like it seems as though your History professor assigns an essay due the one night you have a million other things to do. As a cure for both of these things, God created Red Bull. And then he went the extra mile and allowed Cane's to open at 10 a.m.. These two things should be able to solve any all-nighter woes.
3. You make the best memories -- that you don't remember.
No one remembers 50 cent liquor night. It's loud, messy, and full of awkward eye contact. And, ironically, so is college. The most awkward occurrences you will ever experience will happen in college. Whether it's walking into the wrong class, making a speech about something you've never heard of, or attempting to flirt while simultaneously contracting a speech impediment -- it gets weird. But, luckily, college is a place of forgetfulness. It's as though Will Smith is standing at the door of every bar with his weird little zappy thing every night ("Men in Black" reference), because no one seems to ever remember what stupid thing you did a week from now. Whether you were quite literally the big giraffe in the clumsy giraffe GIF (if unaware of what this is, Google it; you're welcome), or you accidentally attended that sociology class with the hot teacher only to realize you weren't enrolled in it, and then hot teacher asked you to leave, no one remembers things. So you can thank alcohol and Will Smith for that.
4. It's an open learning environment.
College is all about an education. You gain academic knowledge while simultaneously acquiring life skills. It's intense. Like one really long documentary on Netflix. And believe it or not -- 50 cent liquor night is equally as educational. You learn many things. For example, which drinks you can and cannot handle, which boys have zero game, and how high your heels can be before you end up like the aforementioned clumsy giraffe. (I apologize for continually referencing this GIF, but it is the most accurate portrayal of a common white girl there ever was).
5. All roads lead to Taco Bell.
Whether it's too much tequila, that stupid ex-boyfriend being stupid, or your final measure of procrastination before you begin that homework due at 8 a.m., Taco Bell holds all answers within the warm solitude of cheesy bliss that is a Crunchwrap Supreme.
So save your quarters, and remember that no one remembers.
