This is a collection of my poems on friendship, heartbreak, coping with my depression and suicidal thoughts, issues with my self-image, and other things going on in my lil ol' mind.

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I have been blessed with a special kind of love
The love of beautiful souls
Those with such genuine hearts
They never talk about the love that friends can give

Endless support
Endless laughter
An everlasting friendship

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It’s all in your head they say

But they are not the ones living with it day to day

It controls me, mocks me, laughs in my face

It jokes “Oh Eileen, you are such a fucking waste."

Stop trying, it laughs, although you are dying

It tells me to stop caring, “give in to me,” and stop crying
But staying away from it is something I’m not buying

Maybe I am seeking attention
But can’t you see this is a cry for help?

I lose reasons to live every moment

And I cannot say where they went
I hate myself for how much I’ve lost control,
For some odd reason, I’m simply not whole

-mentality

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Why is it so hard
To grasp the idea
That I simply do not care
Much for myself
But only the well-being
Of others?
If you think that
tearing me
down
Is your only solution
To feeling good about
Yourself

Just open your eyes
There’s so much more
Than just you and I
Let.
It.
Go.
And let it be.

Realize that you are
But one in seven billion and three
Let go of your pride
Because I know what you hide

Stop wasting your energy
Don’t waste another breath
There’s so much that we can do
Instead of look forward to death

-you can't hurt me anymore

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Skin and Bones
no soul resides
no light in my eyes
no passion, just lies
I look into a mirror
just skin and bones
I've lost the fire within me
hoping one day again I'll find the key
The answer to my please
Must have gone on leave

Skin and bones.
Nothing else I own.

---

why tear someone down
just as they are rebuilding themselves
they already hate themselves enough
that they do not need another
to go and break them
and ruin their progress?

- moving forward

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People that always have to be talking about others
Because their lives aren't worth talking about
Do not deserve the time of day
Do not give in
to the trickery
deception
lies and fronts
People will be people
Meaning they refuse to change
"The world is yours"
And you think the sun revolves around you

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you let me in
let me open up your heart
now you’ve shut me out
and I’m left fully exposed
- heartbreak

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If I’m supposed to be healing
Tell me why I cry without warning
If I’m supposed to be getting better
Why does it feel as if nothing matters
If I’m supposed to be alone
Why can’t I aimlessly roam
Why does it all hurt so much
If I’m better off by myself
- tell me why

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It is hard for me to grasp the feeling
I have inside
Like I want to die but then again, no
I do crave you
To hear your voice
Have your arms surround me
To simply be near you
I cannot go one single moment without you
Crossing my mind
I honestly cannot feel anything but emptiness
I’m missing a piece of me
That I left with you

- keep it dear to you

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The ocean reminds me of you
So close yet so far are the tides
Leaving me wondering why'd you hide?

The crashing of the waves
And everything you ever gave

The sun in the blue skies
The passion in your brown eyes

The wind in my hair
Reminiscent of yours being there

The sounds of the sea
Wishing you never had to leave

They all happily come and go
Yet I am here and feel so low

When you are gone
It finally dawned
That I'll never look at the ocean
The same way ever again

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Your friendship may be
The greatest blessing
That God has
Ever given me

I can only hope
One day quite soon
God gives you
Someone that deserves you, too

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Thank you.

I've painted you as a perfect person in my mind
And that image has been ruined
I've taken off my rose-colored glasses
Now, I see your true colors

You're as black and white as a newspaper of the past
-extra, extra

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With a heart like mine,
it must be carefully watched
for it is as delicate as a flower
attempting to brave the cold
that is the world