I was at a bit of a loss as to how to write about my panicking over the issues of climate change and why it seems to be an issue we always sleep on. So I thought, hey, you know what always helps a message?
Listicles. If BuzzFeed can do it, so can I! Or maybe not, but you never know until you try or talk yourself out of trying because life is meaningless!
2016 was the hottest year on record since the beginning of industrialization. Boy, this sounds like it's gonna be a boring article about impending doom, am I right? How's about a GIF from "30 Rock," remember that show?
Jeepers, that was fun, wasn't it? It sums up my feelings and doubles as a good romp in the ol' nostalgia bush!
According to a study by the World Meteorological Organization, quoted by The New York Times, “2016’s global temperatures are approximately 1.2 degrees Celsius (2.16 degrees Fahrenheit) above pre-industrial level”
Some might even call that number generous.
Wuh-oh! GIF TIME! What's this one from? I don't f***ing remember. I finger-vomited my sense of panic into Google Images and it sent this back.
Most climate scientists agree that if we reach 2 degrees Celsius, we will have reached the point of no return. That’s approximately .8 degrees Celsius to go until it’s…
Bahahahaha It's funny because our lawmakers think that more coins can sustain us, right?! Hahahaha. I said I'm fine, don't touch me!
When we reach 2 degrees, we face the submerging of most of the major coastal cities in the U.S., 800 million climate refugees, mass extinction of over half of the world’s species, among a host of other catastrophes for which we are not prepared.
That puts us right in the territory of that Jennifer Lawrence movie…
You guessed it! "X-Men: Apocalypse!"
And although the Paris Climate Agreement was a step forward, we have many steps to go. And we thought 2016 was the year we'd finally face it head on, with some decent steps towards renewable energy in the Democratic Party Platform.
And then, through a series of mistakes in both parties, we elected a walking mistake, and everything was like…
FROM "SPACEBALLS," REMEMBER THAT?! I DO! I REMEMBER LAUGHTER!
In the 270 minutes of the three 2016 Presidential debates between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, there were exactly zero questions from the moderators about climate change. I don't have a segue.
Here’s an Amy Poehler GIF. We like her, so here's a f***ing picture of her!
The Republican position on climate change is preposterous and insulting. The Democratic position on climate change is moderately better, but ultimately falls flat when one considers the party’s affinity to the destructive practices of fracking and offshore drilling.
Speaking of drilling, remember when Gromit couldn't use a drill in "A Grand Day Out?" That was way back in the 90's, back before we knew a completely preventable climate disaster would be on the verge of destroying us when we reached our twenties.
Here's the f***ing GIF.
If we can't act now, we're totally f***ed, right?! Like from "Spring Awakening", the one which has a really hopeful ending, unlike the one scientists are predicting for us if we don't get our s*** together?!
(Yeah, bro, that's from the Deaf West production! It was real good!)
Right?! Isn't this fun?!
Isn't…?
With the…?
I can't do this.
I'm not sure why it's so hard to make the issues of climate change as wide-reaching as they need to be, but Holy Mother of Christ, we need to act now or we're not going to leave behind a habitable planet for our future generations. And we can't not hold our politicians accountable, even when they're likable people, like Justin Trudeau, Barack Obama, or that one guy who's the Vice President of the United States but never seems to get any attention unless he's the subject of a meme.
Call the White House and your representatives and tell them to oppose the Dakota Access Pipeline. Get involved with your university's divestment group– I promise you there is one on your campus. Work with Cool Effect.
Donate to projects like Solar Roadways. Move your home to renewable energy– don't ask me, my roommate did it for our apartment. Support congressional candidates in 2018 who will stand up to the fossil fuel industry.
Let's work together and make a habitable planet for future generations.
Also here's a nice dog GIF. I couldn't work it in the article, but tough s***, you're gonna see it anyway.
