The hardest part of a break-up is the change in your routine. It's letting go of the countless hours you have spent making someone a part of your life and having to find someone new to share your day with and watch your favorite shows with.
Breakups can get so blurry along the way and you desperately want to keep in touch and still have them in your life. It's hard to find that balance though. It's hard to find the role that ex-boyfriend/girlfriend should play and how much of a presence they should really have in your life.
We've all been there. I have SO been there. I have had messy breakups where we quit speaking and I have had quiet, peaceful breakups where neither of us could really figure out what to do next. Either way, whether it's a peaceful one, or heart wrenching and mean, the best thing to do for yourself is to not look back.
You have to make it a clean break. If only for a year, but you have to do it. No texts, no calls, no emails. No social media. Avoid Instagram, no Snapchat, no Facebook. You have to turn off the desire to check on them because you're only going to hurt yourself.
So give yourself some time. Delete them from your friends list, not to be mean, but to spare yourself. You probably need to temporarily block them too, if you're someone who will still look up their page.
This is about YOUR healing. It's not about their feelings. It's about taking care of yourself and giving your heart the room to heal, and the best way to do that is to put them in your rearview and keep moving forward, and the BEST way to do that is to cut off all contact. I have had different breakups for different reasons and the ones I always healed from faster were the ones where I couldn't see them or speak to them.
With my last breakup, my ex didn't have social media at all.
He had no Facebook or Instagram to stalk and I was forever grateful for that fact. There was absolutely nothing for me to see. No page to pull up and stare at. No images of him and a new girl in my face. No what-ifs playing in my mind as he goes on about his life. It's as if his life stopped for me completely.
I have no idea what he's doing now, and I am OK with that. I NEED to be OK with that.
You cannot expect your heart to heal if you're constantly feeding it jagged edges of once was. You can't keep cutting yourself over and over again and expect the wounds to heal.
So darling, please, with this breakup, put it all away. Give it some time. Maybe you will truly be friends later on. But not today. Definitely not today. Give yourself some room to breathe and remember that you WILL come out on top.
You always do. You always, always do.
