Time is one of the main things in life that people take for granted. Entering high school, I was not worried about my senior year, for I knew my time would eventually come.

High school is supposed to be a period of growth, in which teenagers get just a glimpse of the real world. But in today's society, young people face constant pressure to grow up as fast as possible. A portion of my grade took this belief to the extreme, beginning as early as freshman year.

Each year, more and more of my peers, including myself, began to feed into this desire to 'be cool' and 'grow up.' All of us were brainwashed into a fast-forward motion, in which we all tried to act as if we were better than high school and ready for the real world.

Despite the many downfalls of the coronavirus, it enabled me to open my eyes up to reality. I am 17 years old, and I have the rest of my life ahead of me; I should be embracing my final moments as a senior, not trying to push ahead.

Everywhere I look, the coronavirus seems to be taking over. When I first heard about the pandemic, I genuinely thought it was a hoax or something that would not become as serious and extreme as it now is. I was not worried that we would have off for school, our senior trip, or lacrosse.

The day I received the email from our head of school explaining how we would have a few days off to possibly transition to online schooling truly shocked me. The pandemic has taken away the end of my senior year, for it is unknown if I will ever walk the Martorelli halls again.

This thought has been very hard for me to process since I worked so hard over the past four years and may have to end my high school career like this: sitting on my bed in pajamas.

I have gone through different emotions over the past few days, from anger, sadness, and despair. Our grade at Bishop Eustace Preparatory School has gone down as one of the most unlucky grades, if not the most; we have dealt with walk-outs, several heads of the school, strict policies, and even fear of the school closing.

I felt excited, for once, that our grade could have a normal ending to our senior year, but now that is also tarnished. I will probably never have a senior night for lacrosse, which is a sport I have played since I was in third grade. I will probably never get to experience Disney with my best friends when the last time I went I was 6 years old.

I will probably never get to wear my beautiful and expensive prom dress or walk in the promenade on my senior prom night. I will probably never get to walk in the gymnasium with my cap and gown on, with my family watching and supporting my achievements over the past four years. Besides the big events, I will most likely not get to experience, I am also missing out on the small but memorable situations as well.

I will probably never sit in the guidance room cramming to study again, I will probably never get to order the questionable nachos at lunch again, and I will probably never get to sit in my favorite class (AP Literature) and discuss whether characters are secretly in love with my classmates again.

My anger sprouts from my past attitude; I am mad that I took time for granted. I did not appreciate all the normalities of high school, or even of life itself.

I have not left my house or come face-to-face with my friends for over a month. All of my favorite stores have closed down, and now I only order take-out for lunch and dinner.

I feel as if we are living in a horror movie, for everyone is hiding in fear, leaving the towns deserted. My parents do not even let me go outside unless it is to go for a run; my grandfather suffers from a terminal lung disease, so my family is not allowed to visit him.

The pandemic has made me reflect on my own behavior, for I took the 'mundane' activities of everyday life for granted. I look back on my times with my friends, such as when we would have study dates at Panera, and with my family, when we could go to Philadelphia and eat brunch outside.

Although I have hope this pandemic will end soon, I fear I will not get to experience these normal activities before going off to college.

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