Cincinnati, Ohio: where residents practically worship a baby hippo, choose their friends based on what chili brand they're loyal to (team Skyline or Gold Star?), and entertain delusions that their consistently-awful sports teams will actually achieve the unthinkable one year.
Despite all its flaws and quirks, Cincinnati will always hold a special place in my heart. As someone who's lived here for 18 years, I know these ten thoughts have gone through my head more than once; and all Cincinnati natives can definitely relate.
Skyline would be so good right now.Giphy
Cincinnati-style chili cravings hit different when you're not actually anywhere near a Skyline. I know all my college students feel me on this one.
Graeter's would be so good right now.Giphy
Black raspberry chip in a waffle cone or GO HOME. Mocha chip and cookie dough... you can stay, but you're on thin ice.
Larosa's (or Montgomery Inn or Busken or Glier's Goetta) would be so good right now.Giphy
Have you gotten the point by now that Cincinnatians LOVE their iconic foods & restaurants?
This is the year the Bengals will finally win the Super Bowl.Giphy
Okay, but like maybe actually this year? Come on, we have Joe Burrow!
Is Kings Island open yet?Giphy
It might be home to thousands of middle-schoolers every summer (my mom said she'll drive there if yours can pick us up!), but every Cincinnatian can admit that the rush you get from riding The Beast is like no other. The soft-serve blue ice cream is just an added bonus.
How bad could swimming in the Ohio River really be?Giphy
Spoiler alert: the Ohio River is disgusting and swimming in it is really that bad.
New Fiona merch? Take my money!Giphy
The Cincinnati Zoo is home to Fiona, a baby hippo that is essentially the sweetheart of the city. Fiona has been emblazoned on countless T-shirts, socks, stickers, and ornaments -- and even has her own ice cream flavor (from Graeter's, of course).
Northern Kentucky is not Cincinnati, and will never be.Giphy
Oh, that city across the river? We don't know them. Come on, it's an entirely different state!
Who's playing at Riverbend this summer?Giphy
This outdoor concert venue is the highlight of most Cincinnatians' summers, including mine. Speaking from personal experience -- seeing Luke Bryan or Thomas Rhett at Riverbend can turn the biggest country hater into a fan.
"I'm from Cincinnati!" (actually lives 30 minutes outside the city)Giphy
Chances are, if you're reading this, you don't actually live downtown, yet your entire personality revolves around the city. Just Cincinnati things, am I right — but let's be honest, who wouldn't want to live here.