The church will break your heart. Sometimes the people in this world that are supposed to be the most loving, caring and accepting mess up, and man does it bite.

I’ve been called out and judged for the length of my skirts on a Sunday morning. My spiritual gifts have been pushed aside to make room for more convenient and popular talents. I’ve been snubbed by cliques in youth group and made fun of in Sunday school. I’ve been told that the abuse I suffered at the hands of an ex-boyfriend was something God wanted for me. My heart has been broken and battered by the church. And guess what? I still go back.

If you at any point in your life choose to pursue relationships within the body of Christ, I promise you will be hurt. Even though there are those in this life who are purposefully trying to walk in the footsteps of Jesus Christ, they are still just people, flawed and imperfect. To expect complete, unbiased love and affections from anyone is to set them up for failure.

This does not mean that the church is not responsible for their actions. Being judgmental, self-righteous and acting out of a motivation other than love is never right. You never deserve to feel unwelcomed or out of place when you walk through the doors of a building filled with the followers of Jesus.

Even though you don’t deserve it, let me say with certainty, that the church will hurt you. No, it is not right. Yes, you are allowed to be hurt. But you need to get over it.

Getting over church hurt does not mean it did not happen. You have the absolute right and responsibility to yourself to be hurt and take time to heal from that pain. You do not have to stay among that body of believers or in those relationships.

But at some point you need to decide what your relationship with God is worth. You were made for community. You were sculpted in the image of the Father who designed you to blossom when surrounded by those with a shared love and passion for serving him. The church will disappoint you and break your heart but they are people just like you and though they are meant to be a reflection of God, they are an imperfect one.

You cannot base your knowledge of God upon the flawed actions of well-meaning individuals. Just because someone who claims to love Jesus hurts you, does not mean that God will do the same. You will need to decide if your longing for community outweighs the anxiety you may have about entering back into relationship with those in the body of Christ.

God will still love you even if you never set foot in a church again. God will still pursue you if you never have another friend who shares your beliefs for the rest of your life. God will not disown you because you are hesitant to trust other Christians again. God’s love for you does not change based upon your decisions to go to church on Easter or Christmas. God’s love stays the same forever. But, I believe one of the ways he loves us is by providing us with the gifts of friendship and community.

Though I have been hurt by the church, I go back. I go back because I believe that most people have good intentions. I go back because I understand that people’s actions are not an accurate representation of the character of God. I go back because I decided that my need for community is more important than any anger or bitterness I may want to hold onto. I go back because I was never meant to live alone and I want to surround myself with people who want to struggle to figure life out together.

If you have been hurt by the church, I am sincerely sorry. If you have left the church, I understand. If the broken and burdened people who hurt you have affected the way you see God, know that His heart grieves for you because that was never the way it was supposed to be.

But those people were wrong and if you let them keep you from community and relationships, you are the one who will be hurt in the end. There are laughs and meals and adventures to be had! Do not allow the actions of others to affect the way you go after God.

So come back! I cannot promise that it will be perfect, but I can tell you there are those who love Jesus and cannot wait to love on you. The hurt that you endured is in your past; it’s time to move on.