If "elephants never forget," then let's step (way) back. When you find yourself among the goldfish and headless chickens, you're almost there. Sorry about...
Never knowing the day (of the week) or date (of the month).
Call it cluelessness, call it flouting the social construct of time -- call it whatever you like. It is what is.
Leaving important personal articles places where important personal articles shouldn’t be left.
You name it, I've walked away without it: notebooks, gifts, jackets, shoes, wallets/handbags, phones. Not to mention the occasional to-go box or shopping bag, which is always disappointing.
Checking the time; forgetting the time; checking the time.
And I don’t mean after a few hours have passed -- I mean before your lock screen even has time to dim.
Failing to complete tasks because you forgot you started them.
I mean, you can accomplish lots of things. It just goes much better when they can be accomplished serially instead of all at once because if there's any question as to whether the "out of sight, out of mind" principle might apply, the answer is yes. Yes, the toast will scorch if you leave it to go find your shoes. Yes, your laundry will sit in the washer for days if you don't set an alarm reminding you to dry it. Yes.
Losing your way.
It's never safe to assume that having gone someplace once means you now know where that place is or how to get there from other places. The good news is the twenty-first century has smiled upon the directionally challenged; when in doubt, ask Siri.
Actually counting on Facebook to keep track of birthdays.
If it's any consolation to you who are blessed in the memory department, it's not a matter of prioritizing. You and your birthday (or anniversary) are not being spurned. Feel free to compare notes with other people in my life; you'll find I'm not selective. I'm inept.
Lyricosis.
There’s no such thing as singing along to the radio without incoherently mumbling several verses and/or discovering that a line you’ve been belting for months is actual nonsense.
Wasting money on planners/agendas you cannot be trusted to use.
It’s not for lack of trying. You always fully intend to become one of those people who can successfully organize their calendars, but honestly it’s impossible to be that systematic when you can't even remember what drawer it's in.
Failing at jokes.
Nothing kills a punchline like accidentally leaving out a crucial detail of the setup.
Owning a second wardrobe bought while traveling to replace clothes you didn't pack.
Just go ahead and budget for a week's supply of new underwear and socks in your vacation planning. You can thank yourself later.
