Dear Chronic Pain,
You live in my body like an unwanted guest. Every morning you tie me to my bed, leaving my body feeling too heavy to lift. You keep me hostage in my own safe place, a place you have no right being in. While I lay in bed I think of the times where you did not exist. I was around 14 when you ever so rudely interjected yourself in my body. It started with slight pain and small amounts of swelling. Little did I know that would turn into a life long condition where I have yet find a serious solution for. The doctors all tell me the same pitying comment " Aw you're too young to have that condition", when in reality I should just be looked at the same as the older people who suffer the same pain. The sad faces I've seen on every doctor, every nurse and every coach that has heard my story is far from comforting. It is almost as if you painted " pity me " across my forehead in bright red paint.Fast forward a couple years and now I go to physical therapy twice a week for four months. I am on a first name basis with the attendance lady at school because I am late, but not because I choose to be...but because I was tied down to my bed being crushed by you. How can I begin to explain without sounding crazy why I am late to school almost every day? Right! I know, "I woke up late". However this bothers me because in fact I did not wake up late, I honestly could not get out of bed. I went to the nurse for ice packs for my knees so much I didn't even have to sign in anymore. Fast forward another year, now I am a senior and the pain has not left. I see the doctor again, the solution?Cortisone shots in each knee. Now for most people they work, however for me they did not. Lucky me, I got all the negative side effects , which in case you were wondering made my brain feel like soup.Now I am 19 years old and you are just a house fly to me. You still hold me hostage but I push myself through your vice grip. I refuse to let you rule me. I refuse to let you keep me up all night with pain. I refuse to let you stop me from things I love. I will power through you. I will evict you from my body that you call home. So see this letter as your notice, you are no longer welcome. Pack your shit and get the hell out.
Truly yours,
A woman too young for you.
