I never thought it was a big deal to be the casual teenager. I thought it was okay to party, smoke weed, and drink all the time. Every teenager did it, right? I had certain things that led me to it, though. I had always told myself I wouldn’t be the person who would ever do those things, but I reached a breaking point.

All through my life my parents were on and off. My mom was on drugs and in and out of jail, my dad was addicted to pain pills, and my brother lived back and forth between us and family members. I just decided to stay with my dad. It seemed like the most logical choice. Well, it wasn’t.

At 11 years old, my father started beating me. Bruised eyes, busted lips, etc. He owned an advertising company and I worked for him. It was door-to-door sales. All he did was sit in the car and play on his phone while I did all of the work. If I didn’t make at least $200, it was my butt. He’d literally put me through hell. I was going to school at 7 in the morning, getting out at 3, going straight home, then go to work with my dad. We wouldn’t even get home until 9 or 10 that night. From 11 years old to recently, I was paying all the bills, going to school, going to work, and still making sure my dad had enough money for his habit.

At that time, my brother had moved in with us. So it was me, my brother, and my dad. My mom was in jail. My brother isn’t my dad’s biological son, but he calls him Dad. When my brother lived with us, my dad didn’t let him do anything. He had to stay home and clean the house. Eventually, my dad made him come to work with us. My dad never put his hands on him, just me. When I was 14, my mom got out of jail, and my brother moved in with her. He left me. My only friend and protector just left me with the abuse. Why did he get an easy way out?

The abuse only got worse from there. My dad started hitting me over the smallest of things- such as disagreeing with his girlfriend’s kids. It was ridiculous. No one ever did anything about the abuse. My family knew, they watched him do it multiple times. They always told me if they ever saw him lay a hand on me, they’d say something, but when it happened, it was all silence. I’ve called Child Protection Services before, and my dad made me tell them it was a mistake. I agreed. I didn’t know hot to cope with any of this.

This went on for a couple more years. One night it got so bad, I called the cops. He had choked me, ripped my shirt off when I ran out the door, put his fist up at me and threatened to kill me if I did “something stupid.” What was classified as stupid? Me calling the cops? Me telling on him? I mean after that scene, what he possibly think I was going to do? Wouldn’t it be logical to think that I would eventually get fed up and speak out?

I moved out that night. I went from staying place to place for a year and a half. I started smoking weed and drinking to deal with my hurt and anger. I let several guys take advantage of me. The list goes on and on. I started being friends with the wrong people. I was getting myself into bad situations. I got out of hand. I just began to feel lonely. The things I turned to make myself feel whole, were only making me feel empty. I made bad decisions, bad mistakes, I even dropped out of school.

I started growing a close relationship with my mom. The woman I had refrained myself from, I began to grow respect for her. I saw the light God had shined in her life, and I needed that. I wanted that love. I always knew there was a God, but I still questioned it. I questioned why I went through what I did. If there was such thing as a God, why did I suffer? Until I took advice from a woman who told me, “Your parents’ sins are not your sins.” I had to think about it for a second, but I began to really process it. I was letting my father’s mistakes and my mother’s mistakes mold me into a person I said I never wanted to be. My heart and mind just conflicted.

I was going through a lot. I felt lost. I felt like I had no meaning. I felt like I should just end it. My mom kept telling me to pray. I honestly just got aggravated every time she said that. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I wanted her to tell me everything was going to be okay. But it wasn’t, because I wasn’t living for God. My mom kept trying to get me to go to church. One Friday she came down to Celebrate Recovery, which is service for addicts. Her sponsor was giving her testimony and she wanted me to go, so I did. Her sponsor started sharing her testimony. After she was done, her husband got up there and started preaching. I’m telling you, God was speaking through him that night. Everything that he was saying was coming right to me. They turned the lights off and he came up to me and my mom. He told my mom to take her hand off of me. He began to pray for me. I couldn’t move but at the same time, my whole body was shaking. It was the Holy Spirit. I then accepted Jesus Christ as my savior.

After that night, my whole life changed. My whole perspective changed. I view things differently. I’m more humble. My love for God is on fire. I am the co-founder of FIRE Ministries. It’s an outreach program to spread the Word and help people. I am continuing my education and pursuing God’s purpose for me. I’m going to be majoring in Social Work next semester. I’m just here to tell you, God is so good! I give Him all the glory. He opened so many doors for me. He placed an amazing family in my life who loves me like their own. How does someone love me so much after I abandon them all these years? The same way He loves each and every one of you. So I want you to challenge your hearts right now. Do you feel like you’re missing something in life? Do you feel alone? Are you afraid? There’s one answer to all your problems. It’s the Lord. I promise if He can work miracles in my life, He can do the same for you.