Last semester, I joined the FAU Jupiter campus Owlettes Dance Company. For the first time ever, I choreographed a dance. It has been absolutely terrifying, challenging, but more than anything, rewarding. Not only did I have to be creative to come up with fun and interesting beginner hip hop choreography, I had to keep in mind that not everybody had experience with dance. This may or may not sound challenging to you, but I promise, it is! It never occurred to me how much I would learn about myself from simply choreographing a dance. And I also learned a lot about interacting with my peers when I’m in a leadership position.

So here’s 5 lessons I learned from doing something I’ve never done before.

1. Teaching is harder than it looks. Okay, I’m not one to brag, but if I were to brag about anything it would be about how good of a dancer I am. #sorrynotsorry. But, possessing the ability to do it is one thing, teaching it is another. When I was choreographing all the moves, I had to keep in mind that just because I could learn a move and do it, it didn’t mean I’d be able to teach it. This helped me to come to terms with the fact that when you are teaching others, you have limits and you will discover them quickly. The good news is that you can work on your limitations and weaknesses. I was very excited when I was able to teach a pretty complicated move to the dancers and many of them started to get it. Your ability to communicate is definitely what makes teaching harder or easier. You’ll always know when you haven’t communicated effectively though because you’ll hear crickets as you stare at blank or confused faces.
2. I’m the leader and everyone is watching. It’s up to me to set the example of how our rehearsals are going to run. I show up early, set up and ask everyone how they’re doing. Genuinely. Can you imagine, if I never talked to anyone and just said, “Okay, everybody’s here let’s start.” I don’t think I would have any dancers. I’ve taken dance lessons before and have encountered that awful person. It was only once thank goodness. And it’s not just that everyone is watching me to learn the moves, but they are also experiencing how I handle their questions about the choreography or frustration with themselves over learning the choreography. Learning to balance positive reinforcement along with pointing out areas that need improvement is a big challenge.
3. People will push boundaries. By far this has been the toughest lesson I’ve learned. If someone is your peer and views you as being on the same level as them, how do you set boundaries? Well, I’ve learned that you do it early on and often. I look back at last semester and realize I made decisions that lead to some of the awkward and tough situations I’ve been faced with. If someone does something that you’re not okay with, then you need to talk about it with them as soon as possible. And whenever you set boundaries, do it on day one. Whoever sticks around is who will most likely respect your boundaries. I, of course, did not do any of this and that’s why I’m telling you. The longer I waited to set a boundary, because I wanted to be liked, the more resistance I got. If I could go back, I would set the parameters for my expectations more definitively. And I’d do it on day one.
4. I’ve come to terms with the fact that it won’t be perfect. I’ve given up on perfect. At this point I’ll settle for above average. Which is still a pretty high expectation, but it’s definitely not perfect! Coming to terms with the fact that nothing you do in life will be perfect is disappointing. Us perfectionists, we have such a clear vision of how amazing and perfect our work will be. And then we learn what Murphy’s Law is real fast. My group hasn’t even performed this dance yet, so let’s not think about.
5. I surprised myself. The first dance rehearsal was intimidating. Some of the girls had choreographed a dance before and I hadn’t. What if they could tell this was my first time? What if I’m a terrible teacher? What if they hate the choreography? While I did stumble through my first rehearsal, it taught me so much. Each rehearsal I felt more confident and determined to be a good teacher and have great choreography for the girls to learn (We’re doing “Me Too” by Megan Trainor, so it’s kind of a no-brainer that zero guys signed up for my dance). The first time you do anything is daunting and probably isn’t going to go the way you had hoped, but it’s the best experience because it’s the hardest. And it’s a make or break moment because you can either give up in your ability and determination to learn, or you can forge ahead choosing to believe in yourself. Sounds cheesy, but totally true.

More than anything, I’m proud of myself. I put myself out there and did something I’ve never done before. I debated whether or not to do this for an entire year because I was worried about failure, instead of being excited about what I was going to learn about myself and others. If you’re reading this and want to try something new, but aren’t sure you should, or can, don’t think about it any longer. Do it. You just might surprise yourself.